10 Tips To Overcome Bad Thoughts

Do you ever find yourself thinking bad thoughts about someone else?

Do you ever think bad thoughts about yourself?

Here is an easier question: “Are You Human?” If your answer to this one is YES, then you can honestly answer YES to the first two questions. Bad thoughts are human but we should not let them control us.

Human beings, above all other animals on the planet possess the wonderful ability to reason. In most situations we tend to think before we act. Unlike less intelligent species, before we do almost anything, we imagine possible results and potential pitfalls. We think about how our actions and reactions might help us, harm us, propel us forward or hold us back. We thrive on information and we fill our heads with all kinds of thoughts and ideas about how we should live our lives. We are the superior species on earth because we think a lot, learn a lot, reason a lot and do a lot of incredible things after a good deal of intellectual assessment.

Sometimes because of external influences or internal fears, our thoughts become negative.

We might imagine that someone or something in our lives might harm us in some way or we might think that for some reason, we are not capable of doing something that we need to do in order to succeed. When our thoughts turn to black, our mood will change for the worse and our performance will begin to lag. During those down periods we will often say or do things that are not characteristic of our usual behavior. In the worst cases, we might even strike out at those around us or withdraw into solitude in order to avoid the source of our trepidations. We might turn away from people who matter to us and people who only want the best for us.

The worst thing about bad thoughts is that they put our lives on hold.

While we are under the control of bad thoughts, we stop trying, we stop doing and we fail to get on with living. We should never allow a bad thought to stop us from doing something that must be done or something that we really want to do. Despite the fact that we all want to avoid them, human beings allow bad thoughts to consume them and take charge of their lives every day! Bad thoughts, when allowed to rule are the enemies of optimism, the thieves of enthusiasm and the killers of motivation.

Often our bad thoughts will consume us for extended periods.

During those times, we will be depressed, impatient, uncommunicative, anxious or confrontational. Our human, negative energy will bubble to the surface and change our normal demeanour into something that is unpalatable to others. In essence our internal bad thoughts can ultimately become our external reality as we drive people away from us while becoming sad, lonely spectres of our normal selves.

Do not allow your bad thoughts to control you. Here are some tips to help you recognize and take control of your own negative energy. You can do all of them, some of them, or just one. The important thing is to do something.

When a bad thought enters your mind:

1. ASK YOURSELF, “WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?” (If the answer does not include death or physical harm, you will be much more likely to move past it.)

2. SETTLE DOWN. (Take a deep breath and think about some good things in your life. Tell yourself that you are a good person with a good life and that you can get beyond the current set-back.)

3. SAY IT OUT LOUD. (You can say it alone behind closed doors, or you can say it to a trusted confidant. Once you have verbalized your thoughts, they become much easier to deal with.)

4. TALK TO A FRIEND, A CLOSE RELATIVE, A TRUSTED CO-WORKER OR SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL LISTEN. (You need to hear an alternative point-of-view in order to put things into perspective.)

5. SEEK OUT A RESOLUTION. (You can work on the problem with another person or you can think of a variety of courses of action and positive resolutions on your own.)

6. WRITE IT DOWN. (Write down the bad thought and read it over. Then right down all of the possible outcomes of it...both positive and negative. When you see it in writing it will take on a different look.)

7. IF IT INVOLVES ANOTHER PERSON, GIVE THEM A BREAK. (Think about the fact that nothing good ever comes from negativity and that forgiveness is the antidote to hard feelings.)

8. CONFRONT IT HEAD-ON. (If you have a bad thought, it has to be given life before it can die a natural death. Face the situation and deal with it in an open, honest, courageous but sensitive way.)

9. FORGIVE YOURSELF. (Human beings tend to be hard on themselves. You need to be able to accept that you will make mistakes sometimes and that you are better than you think you are at that moment.)

10. DEAL WITH IT RIGHT AWAY! (Do not allow a bad thought to grow and fester in your mind. If left unfettered a bad thought can grow into a major tragedy or a life-changing trauma before you know it.

Overcoming bad thoughts must be a deliberate, conscious and extraordinarily positive act.

From now on, when a bad thought enters your mind remember that it must not be allowed to control you. Take time out of your busy day to think about it, eliminate it, and move on to more positive thoughts as quickly as you can.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

We Should Honour Christmas All Year Long

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

~ Charles Dickens (1812-1870), English author. From, “A Christmas Carol”

I was quite taken by this quote from Charles Dickens. This line from “A Christmas Carol” reminds us of the fact that for most people, the true spirit of kindness and giving is with us for only one day of each year. As much as we might like to honour the spirit of Christmas throughout the year, it is not long after December 25th that we return to our old habits and vices…we return to being normal, flawed human beings.

People of many lands have chosen Christmas as a reason to be kind, generous, and warm to all others.

Large scale wars all over the world will have cease-fires during the Christmas holiday. People who seldom speak take the time to write and send greeting cards to each other. Everywhere you go people of all races, creeds, colours and genders can be heard shouting, “Merry Christmas!” to almost anyone they come into contact with. Despite the commercial implications of it, Christmas genuinely brings peace on earth and goodwill to all men and women. Smiles abound and anger is put on hold for two or three glorious days. Everyone seems to want to impose the best part of mankind on everyone else during the few days surrounding December 25th.

How sad it is that we cannot carry those good feelings, thoughts, emotions and actions with us 365 days of every year.

If we could just remember the deep seated emotions that flood our hearts, souls, and minds on Christmas morning; if we could only treat everyone the way we treated our friends and family during Christmas dinner; if we could just feel that way and treat everyone with that much kindness all year long, the world would be a glorious place indeed.

Like Ebenezer Scrooge, try to honour the Christmas spirit all year long. You will be rewarded with the gift of joy and the precious present of a peaceful mind.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Wayne Kehl

Ten Ways To Make Your Employees Adore You (video)

Please do not confuse adoration with lovability or even likeability. Effective leaders have a mystique about them that sets them apart from other mortals. They have an ability to garner respect, admiration, reverence, and generally high regard wherever they go. Those are the elements of adoration that we will be dealing with in this video.

No two leaders are the same. They all have their own distinct style. Some exude kindness and warmth while others reek of authority and influence. Some lead by example while others lead through delegation. Some do things on impulse and immediate action while others are methodical and unhurried. These are products of individual personalities and no one style is better than another. They can all create success when fused with the essential elements of leadership.

No matter what style you might have, you can earn the adoration of your employees.

HERE ARE THE TEN ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF LEADERSHIP ADORATION:

1. In order to be adored as a leader you must listen to the people who work with you. Listening is an indication of respect. It shows that you are interested in them and that what they have to say matters. Most importantly, it shows that they have so much value that you will give up your most precious leadership commodity for them...your time.

2. If you want adoration, talk to your people. Tell them what you are thinking. Tell them about yourself. Let them know that you are human and that you have the same fears, feelings, problems and concerns that they do. If you make yourself human to them they will be compelled to support and protect you when the need arises.

3. You must control your emotions if you expect true adoration from your followers. Angry, depressed, impatient, sad, giddy, or moody people cannot gain respect and will not be taken seriously by anyone. A calm, even demeanour with moments of obvious excitement (at appropriate times) will show followers that you are in control of yourself and therefore more likely to be someone of good character and a strong mind.

4. Adorable people have a sense of humour. A dour, humourless demeanour might seem appropriate in some situations, but a regular diet of it in a leadership position is a morale killer. When people say things to you that they think are funny...laugh! It is not a hard thing to do. Only laugh at appropriate things and when offering your own humour, make sure you do not cross the line of inappropriateness. Work should not be punishment and it follows that a joyful workplace is a productive workplace. If you are not exhibiting humour from time to time, you have not realized your full leadership potential.

5. Make yourself available and adoration will follow. If you are truly leading, you are visible, available and transparent. Stop making excuses for not spending time with your followers. Get up from your desk and talk to them. When they want to speak with you in private, stop what you are doing (if possible) and talk to them. When they have a problem, listen to them with an open mind and do everything in your power to help them through it. Be their omnipresent symbol of strength.

6. Trust your employees and they will adore you. The greatest display of respect you can show an employee is to trust him or her to do the job properly, on time and on budget. Once the training phase is over and you know they are competent, leave them alone and do not meddle. Ask for progress reports and occasional performance evaluations but during the course of the workday, leave them alone and only attempt to help when they ask. The only interference you should present is a pat on the back for a job well done or a celebration for a special success. Your trust in them will be returned with respect and admiration for you.

7. Communicate with your people and they will adore you. One of the most common complaints from employees is that they have little or no communication with management. What they want is more than idle chat. They want to know what is going on, what the vision of the company is, what your personal vision is, the financial strength and growth of the company, and where the company is going. They want to be an integral part of the organization and the more you tell them about where the company is taking them, the more they will admire you.

8. To be adored you must always be cognizant of how you present yourself. Unlike some other human beings, leaders must always dress appropriately, clean and groom themselves appropriately, speak clearly and concisely and act in a politically correct fashion. Sloppy, slovenly, smelly people seldom make good leaders. People who mumble, speak too softly, tell dirty jokes or use a lot of foul language have difficulty gaining respect from followers or superiors. If you are having trouble finding adoration at work, give yourself an honest personal evaluation and make the necessary changes.

9. If you fight for your employees you can become the most adored leader of all. Followers want their leaders to be bold, courageous, loyal warriors who will support them, protect them and speak highly of them at all times. Leaders who put their own success and safety second to that of their employees will be held in high regard. Leaders who get involved when employees get into conflicts or bravely put themselves into the middle of customer confrontations are the most revered of all. If you make it clear to your people that you will be the last person into the life raft if the ship starts to go down you will be adored beyond your wildest imagination.

10. Honesty is an adorable trait. Dishonesty is not! Big lies, small lies, promises not kept, and promises conveniently forgotten are all reasons for leadership catastrophe. No one wants to be lied to. If you always do unto others as you would have them do unto you and never tell an untruth you are on the path to adoration and leadership success.

Leadership is not easy, but by practising these few simple tenets you can enhance your leadership style and move to a higher level of success.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

What Does The Future Hold For Our Aimless Youth?

The young people we know as Generation “Y” will soon overtake the rapidly retiring boomer generation in the workforce. When that changing of the guard comes to full fruition, the young people of today will be expected to keep the country running by filling all of the jobs and running all of the organizations that their Boomer predecessors leave behind.

DAZED AND CONFUSED.

In every generation, there are keeners; those amazingly talented, intelligent, resourceful people who know what they are good at, what they want, and how to go out and get it. However, many of the young people who graduate from high school and make their way into the workforce every year are frankly, dazed and confused...they don’t know what to do and they are afraid of what the future holds. Through no fault of their own, they are aimless and lost in a sea of bewilderment.

YOU MADE THEM WHAT THEY ARE.

Considering the amazing amount of contradiction and misinformation that Boomer and Generation “X” parents have tossed at Generation “Y” all their lives, it is no wonder many of them are aimless. They have been praised, protected, doted on and rewarded by parents and teachers all of their lives. They have no idea what overcoming obstacles means and they have a profound lack of understanding of the subtleties and cruelties of the business world. They have been taught to believe in themselves and have an ingrained faith that they will succeed. However, as they near the precipice of independence, they are beginning to realize that neither their parents nor teachers prepared them for real jobs in the real world. They simply have no idea what they might excel at or where their talents might be best utilized.

Generation “Y” has a fundamental belief that they should never settle for second best. They want to start at the top of the pay scale and they believe they should have everything their parents have, almost immediately after they leave home. Because of their liberal and generous upbringings, many young folks make it all the way to high school graduation without ever contemplating the fact that they will ultimately be singularly responsible for their own lives. Imagine the horror of leaving the nest without a mature, functional pair of wings!

THEY HAVE NO DIRECTION.

Parents and teachers in most cases have done a less than effective job of preparing our young people for the real world. They did not encourage them into any particular profession or career path. Oh sure, they bought them laptop computers and I-phones and they told them they would be great at whatever they did as long as they did their best, but they did not map out a clear path for adult success. Many parents and teachers told kids that they should become computer literate, get a good education and avoid dirty jobs where physical labour is involved. Of course, they wanted the best for their kids when they provided all of that support, but they did not think it through; they did not balance their encouragement and advice with research and practicality so that they could provide clear direction to their progeny. Hence, many of our youths are wandering the streets, avenues, and shopping malls of North America with a deeply embedded sense of despair and no clear plan for their lives. Here is what they might be thinking:

“Should I be a doctor, a lawyer, a pharmacist, a writer, a teacher, a computer programmer, a rock star, a movie star, a disc jockey, an entrepreneur, an employee, a CEO or a taxi driver? Mom and Dad told me I would do well at anything I tried but what in the name of Bill Gates and Britney Spears, should I try? I don’t know what to do!”

WHAT IS THE ANSWER? HOW CAN WE FIX IT?

It is never too late to help your children find their true calling. The first thing you need to do is sit down with them and ask them what they want to do. Do not assume that what you want for them is the right thing because if you try to force them to do something that you feel would make a wonderful occupation for them you might find that it is quite the opposite of what they want. In the worst case scenario you might also eventually find out that they are simply not capable of doing well at it after spending thousands of dollars on education costs. Let’s face it, everyone cannot be a great surgeon or a skilled airline pilot and in both cases, the practitioners of those occupations must be extremely good at what they do. Just doing their best when their best is not good enough will not cut it.

Create an unthreatening, safe environment and have an open, honest discussion with your kids about what they want and then agree to help them achieve it. If they are completely confused and simply have no idea what they want to do, you might have to dig deeper. In that case, you can employ a professional employment counsellor to work with him or her. That can be quite costly however, so for much less expense, you can do a skills and talent assessment that will point you both in the right direction. Most assessments can be done online with a report generated on your computer within seconds of the survey being completed. They are very accurate and extremely helpful. For maximum clarity and impartiality you should have a trained professional debrief you and your son or daughter on the report. Once you have been through it, you will have a much better idea of what sort of occupation your kids belong in.

THE FIRST STEP IS RECOGNIZING THAT YOUR KIDS MIGHT NOT HAVE A CLEAR DIRECTION FOR THE FUTURE.

Once you have accepted that they have no plan for the future, ask them if they know where they want go and what they want to do. Make it clear that even though their direction might not be what you expected, it is okay with you and that you will support them. Do not make the assumption that they will get by on their brilliance and sparkling personalites. Although they might seem mature to you, they are just young impressionable people who need a boost from you to make the next big step in their lives.

You created them and they are yours from birth until death. You owe them every opportunity to succeed.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Order a professional skills and talents coaching report here. Take the mystery out of your life and find out what kind of career is best for you. Order online:

https://www.dlionline.ca/detail.php?id=4

THIS IS THE BEST SKILLS AND TALENTS ASSESSMENT AVAILABLE ON THE MARKET TODAY.

All information is kept completely confidential and no salesman will call. A professional debriefing is available.

Ten Ways To Make Your Employees Adore You

Please do not confuse adoration with lovability or even likeability. Effective leaders have a mystique about them that sets them apart from other mortals. They have an ability to garner respect, admiration, reverence, and generally high regard wherever they go. Those are the elements of adoration that we will be dealing with in this article.

No two leaders are the same. They all have their own distinct style. Some exude kindness and warmth while others reek of authority and influence. Some lead by example while others lead through delegation.  Some do things on impulse and immediate action while others are methodical and unhurried. These are products of individual personalities and no one style is better than another. They can all create success when fused with the essential elements of leadership.

No matter what style you might have, you can earn the adoration of your employees.

HERE ARE THE TEN ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF LEADERSHIP ADORATION:

1. In order to be adored as a leader you must listen to the people who work with you. Listening is an indication of respect. It shows that you are interested in them and that what they have to say matters. Most importantly, it shows that they have so much value that you will give up your most precious leadership commodity for them...your time.
2. If you want adoration, talk to your people. Tell them what you are thinking. Tell them about yourself. Let them know that you are human and that you have the same fears, feelings, problems and concerns that they do. If you make yourself human to them they will be compelled to support and protect you when the need arises.
3. You must control your emotions if you expect true adoration from your followers. Angry, depressed, impatient, sad, giddy, or moody people cannot gain respect and will not be taken seriously by anyone.  A calm, even demeanour with moments of obvious excitement (at appropriate times) will show followers that you are in control of yourself and therefore more likely to be someone of good character and a strong mind.
4. Adorable people have a sense of humour. A dour, humourless demeanour might seem appropriate in some situations, but a regular diet of it in a leadership position is a morale killer. When people say things to you that they think are funny...laugh! It is not a hard thing to do. Only laugh at appropriate things and when offering your own humour, make sure you do not cross the line of inappropriateness. Work should not be punishment and it follows that a joyful workplace is a productive workplace. If you are not exhibiting humour from time to time, you have not realized your full leadership potential.
5. Make yourself available and adoration will follow. If you are truly leading, you are visible, available and transparent. Stop making excuses for not spending time with your followers. Get up from your desk and talk to them. When they want to speak with you in private, stop what you are doing (if possible) and talk to them. When they have a problem, listen to them with an open mind and do everything in your power to help them through it. Be their omnipresent symbol of strength.
6. Trust your employees and they will adore you.  The greatest display of respect you can show an employee is to trust him or her to do the job properly, on time and on budget. Once the training phase is over and you know they are competent, leave them alone and do not meddle. Ask for progress reports and occasional performance evaluations but during the course of the workday, leave them alone and only attempt to help when they ask.  The only interference you should present is a pat on the back for a job well done or a celebration for a special success.  Your trust in them will be returned with respect and admiration for you.
7. Communicate with your people and they will adore you. One of the most common complaints from employees is that they have little or no communication with management. What they want is more than idle chat. They want to know what is going on, what the vision of the company is, what your personal vision is, the financial strength and growth of the company, and where the company is going. They want to be an integral part of the organization and the more you tell them about where the company is taking them, the more they will admire you.
8. To be adored you must always be cognizant of how you present yourself. Unlike some other human beings, leaders must always dress appropriately, clean and groom themselves appropriately, speak clearly and concisely and act in a politically correct fashion. Sloppy, slovenly, smelly people seldom make good leaders.  People who mumble, speak too softly, tell dirty jokes or use a lot of foul language have difficulty gaining respect from followers or superiors. If you are having trouble finding adoration at work, give yourself an honest personal evaluation and make the necessary changes.
9. If you fight for your employees you can become the most adored leader of all. Followers want their leaders to be bold, courageous, loyal warriors who will support them, protect them and speak highly of them at all times.  Leaders who put their own success and safety second to that of their employees will be held in high regard. Leaders who get involved when employees get into conflicts or bravely put themselves into the middle of customer confrontations are the most revered of all. If you make it clear to your people that you will be the last person into the life raft if the ship starts to go down you will be adored beyond your wildest imagination.
10. Honesty is an adorable trait. Dishonesty is not!  Big lies, small lies, promises not kept, and promises conveniently forgotten are all reasons for leadership catastrophe. No one wants to be lied to. If you always do unto others as you would have them do unto you and never tell an untruth you are on the path to adoration and leadership success.

Leadership is not easy, but by practising these few simple tenets you can enhance your leadership style and move to a higher level of success.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Getting Along With People Is EASY!

Have a look at this video about Getting Along With People Is EASY! and then order the book...

 

Have you ever had trouble getting along with someone? Don’t Despair...Everyone has!

Getting along with people is easy is the book you have been waiting for.  In it, you will find the reasons that people have trouble getting along with each other and great ways to avoid bad relationships.

As a bonus, you will find ways to fix almost every relationship issue you might ever encounter.

Learn how to get along with rude people, sarcastic people, moody people, conceited people, prejudiced people, husbands, wives, co-workers and even, bosses.

On these pages you will find wit, wisdom and common sense for everyone who associates with other human beings.

Allow every person you meet to become a positive force in your life and you will find that getting along with people is easy.

This book is a great read. Learn how to get along with people and have fun doing it.

Order Getting Along with people is easy directly from me at www.dlionline.ca, or from www.amazon.com,  www.barnesandnoble.com, and most other online book sellers.

I am Wayne Kehl

Thank You!

It Takes A Hurricane

While watching the drama of Hurricane Irene unfold as she made her way up the east coast of North America, I was impressed by the good humour, co-operation, camaraderie, and overall humanity of the folks who reside in the path of the storm front. The media did a great job of televising scenes of people working together, boarding up buildings and doing whatever they could to make certain that everyone in their respective communities was safe.

Tragedy and impending danger tend to bring people together in a universal environment of compassion, charity and civility that is often absent when things are good.

When widespread, collective problems or fears abate, most of us return to our usual human pattern of competition, aggression, avoidance, and intolerance of others.During a hurricane, a war, a flood or an earthquake the love of mankind and our need to aid and nurture each and every person threatened by a common disaster becomes a singular, communal driving force.

Why can people not consistently maintain and exhibit the natural tribal loyalty and altruism that is innate in all of us?

Human beings are essentially pack animals, which helps to explain why we live in cities and work in huge buildings together. Pack animals know that survival depends on the power that is created when of a number of members of the species live, hunt, share and work together in harmony. Of course our pack-communities are what we know as countries, cities, neighbourhoods and companies, but they represent essentially the same patterns and hierarchies that we can observe in nature.

The wolf-pack is perhaps the most popular non-human example of an effective tribal cooperative.

In the wolf community a leader is selected when he shows superiority over any weaker males who dare to take him on in an all-out fight. In the human community we occasionally have dog-fights to select our leaders, but most often we have a democratic election process where a superior leader is chosen from a slate of qualified candidates.

Whether wolf-pack or human-pack, the hierarchical process is the same: The leader makes decisions for the pack and the followers carry out the work required to maintain the security and integrity of the commune. In both cases, leaders who under-perform can be removed and replaced at almost any time. In case of wolves and humans, replacing a leader usually requires another fight for superiority.

The major difference between wolves and humans is that wolves have almost complete respect and admiration for their leaders while humans often disregard them or resent them to the core.

Getting back to Hurricane Irene; it seems that human beings quite naturally and unavoidably fall back on their primordial instincts when danger threatens the pack. At that point, gone is ego and selfishness; gone is arrogance and superiority; gone is competition and intolerance. In the face of peril, the negative elements of human interaction are quickly replaced by the positive elements of the pack-animal system. Cooperation, collaboration, nurturing and protective instincts flood the minds of the victims, leading them to unusual and amazing acts of courage and kindness.When danger threatens, people become almost universally good again. They become akin to the wolves that will fight to the death as a group to protect all members of the pack.

When people work together during an impending or actual disaster to protect, save, nurture, and help one another it is a truly wonderful thing to see.

When human beings are not threatened and the usual human vices of egotism, greed, guile, selfishness and rudeness return to the fore, our species takes on an unpleasant air that most of the members of our pack find intolerable. We often hate what we see in the human race, but as the Bible says in John 8:7, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Ask yourself if you have been guilty of being human lately.

If you answer, “NO”, I think you might need to take stock of the human vices that we have all learned to recognize and acknowledge as unacceptable behaviour in the new millennium.

Most of us make excuses for our vices and sins. We are constantly casting stones at others because they did something to us first.

We believe that a first strike at our integrity, dignity or ego is a perfect reason for us to retaliate in kind, or with even greater force.

All over the world today, fingers are being raised to errant motorists and foul language is being used to upset timid sales clerks. Husbands are yelling at wives and wives are hollering at daughters and sons. Every day, neighbours silently hate neighbours and employees and bosses hate each other collectively. Conversely, in the wolf-packs of the world, there might be a fight for superiority going on somewhere but more often than not if you find a pack of wolves you will find them living, hunting and sharing together in harmony. They know instinctively that they must work together to assure the survival of their community.

Why can’t people be more like wolves?

Let’s not wait for the next disaster before we begin caring for the other human beings on earth again. Let’s start now!

All the Best!
Wayne Kehl

Leadership Can Be An Unpopular Business

Throughout my career in leadership I had to accept this one major truth: I will not always make decisions that will make me universally popular.  

When leading, we must always put our followers first; we must always do our best for our team members and we must always be servant leaders. However, in the course of business, as leaders we will occasionally find ourselves in a position where in order to do the best for the team we must make hard decisions that are not easily understood or agreed to by them.  

In order to lead, you must have the trust of the team. However, you must also do everything you can to maintain the profitability of your organization. If you are in a leadership position and never find yourself making unpopular decisions, you are probably not doing a very good job.  

Always communicate the reasons for your difficult decisions to your team. Through open, honest, timely communication you will gain their undying trust.  

A leader who is indecisive, inconsistent, misleading, or a pushover will be much less popular than one who is open, honest, decisive, and courageous. Team members need strong leaders; leaders they can trust to fight for them. Are you that leader? 

I am Wayne Kehl from Dynamic Leadership

The Value Of Honesty

As children, most of us had parents who tried to convince us that cheaters never prosper and liars will not go to heaven. The theory is of course a great one, but almost every day in the news I hear about business leaders being charged and convicted for a variety of commercial crimes. 

Sadly, I am beginning to think that a lot of prosperous people are the worst liars on earth and that heaven must be crowded with some of the most philanthropic cheaters ever born. Happily, we are all aware of completely scrupulous people who prosper and reach great financial heights while exercising pure honesty. However, despite the teachings of our parents, dishonesty is still a large factor in business today.

“Do cheaters and liars prosper?...Of course they do! Do they live happy lives?...Of course not!

FIVE TYPES OF LIARS

There are basically five types of liars in the business world:

1.       Compulsive liars ...People who are so psychologically insecure that they believe lying is necessary for survival. They will pile one lie on top of the next and sometimes begin to believe them.

2.       Blatantly dishonest, remorseless liars ... Those who cannot differentiate between right and wrong and believe that lying is a great way to get what they want.  They are usually extremely greedy and some of them have actual criminal intent.

3.       Strategic liars ...People who stretch the truth, make up false stories or withhold the whole truth in order to win or make a point. These folks are often the best negotiators and deal makers in large, successful businesses.

4.       White liars...They are the ones who believe that a small white lie now and again is not really a lie at all. These people often justify a lie because they believe it helped someone or at the very least did not harm anyone.

5.       Situational liars...These are the lesser liars who do not make a habit of lying but will twist and turn the truth in order to avoid an unpleasant or difficult situation. They might cheat on their taxes or fake an illness to avoid work.

DISHONESTY IS ALL AROUND US

You can find people from all five types at all levels of business. The most common form of dishonesty at the management or executive level is the Strategic type. North American business standards require that corporations succeed and grow. In order to grow, businesses must compete with others in their field and often the best way to show superiority to potential customers is to tell lies about their products and services. It is also a common way to lure new employees into the fold or convince others not to leave.

Business leaders who convince customers and employees of falsehoods in order to grow and succeed are often rewarded with huge paycheques and amazing bonuses. In some cases they are pushed into a web of lies in order to keep their jobs or get the next promotion. Success is the primary goal and anything short of outright criminal activity is justifiable as long as profitability is maintained. Occasionally the dishonesty crosses the line and alas, criminal activity ensues. The twentieth and twenty-first centuries are replete with successful executives-turned lawbreakers.

Some high level leaders think nothing of lying to employees and customers. They wear their dishonesty like a crown and pride themselves on their ability to negotiate favourable deals at the seemingly minor expense of truth.

“They justify their larceny by convincing themselves and those around them that the business world is a kill or be killed environment where only the strong shall survive and a win by any means is a good win!

DISHONESTY IS HARD TO LIVE WITH

Despite their financial success, most dishonest leaders are never truly happy. They are often cynical, distrustful and fearful that someone might lie to them or catch them in one of their own lies. Many often show signs of extreme fatigue and others seemed distant or agitated at the most inappropriate times. They have difficulty being present and they will occasionally lapse into inexplicable disengagement or anger.

No matter how much money they make, they can never relax and enjoy it.  They live in a jungle of mistruths, misfeasance and larceny that no normal human psyche can withstand for an extended period of time. Often, the thirst for success is so powerful that even the money they want so badly will not soothe their troubled souls.

“It is true what they say: “Money does not bring happiness!”

HONESTY BRINGS PEACE OF MIND!

When you live of life of pure honesty you have far less to worry about! It is almost impossible to regret being honest and telling the truth virtually never brings any personal guilt. Honesty produces wonderful reputations and creates friends wherever it goes. Most people want to associate with an honest person and everyone will come to the aid of someone who consistently tells them the truth. Honest people smile a lot and find the positive elements in everything they do. Often the positive attention they garner will bring opportunities for financial success that dishonest folks will never be offered. They are the good people of the world and others enjoy watching them succeed.

“The trust that honesty brings can catapult good people to fabulous wealth!

WHAT IS THE VALUE OF HONESTY?

Honesty, like success cannot be measured in money.  Honest people may or may not achieve the financial success of their less-honest brethren, but regardless of their bank balances, their lives will be more fulfilled and they will be truly honoured and celebrated after death. They are the real leaders of mankind... the ones we all look up to and the ones we all want to emulate.

“What is the value of honesty?................It is Priceless!

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

Stop Being Selfish! Find Happiness and True Success...

Selfishness Prevents Success!

If you want to get along with more people start thinking about someone other than yourself. If you have problems with relationships it is probably largely to do with your own actions and the fact that you are thinking more about yourself than the people you don’t get along with.

I once applied for a job as a sales manager with a large, international insurance firm. Part of the application process was a multiple-choice exam to determine the mindsets of the various candidates. I can only recall one question on the exam: “What is the most important characteristic of a great sales manager?” There were ten possible answers and I had to rank them from one to ten in order of importance. The number one answer was this: “The desire to see others do well.”

Frankly, I did not expect it to top the list but I have never forgotten that one question and its wonderful answer. Just think about a world where everyone has a constant, daily desire to see others do well. I now know that if I put others before myself, I will quite unavoidably bring positive energy to everything I do.

Stop being selfish and put an end to negativity, stress, and sadness in your life.

I am Wayne Kehl from Dynamic Leadership

Communication Tips For The Generations

All generations have preferred types of communication. Here is a small sample of what you need to know!

Take Your Business Back!

I often hear from managers that employees have more power than their bosses. Studies have shown that the majority of workers in North America do not want to move into a management role. The current trend toward servant leadership and participative management has created a lot of very good results, but in many cases it has also created chaos, poor morale and reduced performance.

In the nineteen-fifties and prior, we witnessed command and control management styles in most businesses and Government service sectors. That method of leadership allowed manipulation, oppression and in some cases, outright cruelty to employees in the workplace.

Workers were threatened and intimidated in the name of better performance standards. Although command and control worked in its own way, it led to dissension, distrust of management and employee rebellion. Ultimately, it gave greater power to unions and paved the way for the servant leadership style that most leaders either espouse or give lip-service to in the twenty-first century.

The trend toward what I call, soft-servant-leadership is beginning to erode the ability of North American business to perform effectively. It is at least partially responsible for the lack of discipline that led to the recent American banking industry collapse and it is usually the root of cause of poor performance in any industry or public sector. When there are no apparent consequences, chaos is allowed to rule.  Command and control management has been replaced by some new phenomena:

IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY MANY ORGANIZATIONS OPERATE UNDER ONE OR MORE OF THESE CONDITIONS:

·         request followed by refusal

·         guidance followed by defiance

·         rules broken without consequence

·         leadership scorned or disregarded

·         poor performance rewarded or nurtured

·         bad attitudes ignored or avoided

·         management afraid of employees

·        insolence, tardiness, absenteeism, and laziness tolerated

(If you don’t see your favourite one on the list, please feel free to add it.)

Now is the time to take your business back! Now is the time to start a LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION and build organizations that will be able to withstand the onslaught of the financial recession and economic hardship that will continue well into the twenty-first century.

We cannot continue to be productive if we do not begin to hold our employees accountable for the work they do. I am not suggesting that we go back to the command and control management style of the fifties...I am suggesting that we temper servant leadership with effective accountability.

Leadership should not be about settling for less!

Leadership should be a combination of our currently understood principles of servant leadership tempered or fused with firmness, accountability and a respect for hierarchy.

We often compare the running of a business with coaching a team or commanding an army.

 When we make those comparisons however, we seem to forget that on a basketball team, if a player is insolent, disobedient or plays badly, he is benched or sent to the showers. The coach takes control and makes hard decisions for the betterment of his team. In the case of the military, if a soldier is insolent, disobedient or AWOL he is disciplined, court marshalled, or jailed.  In both cases, the performance of the entire team is placed in the paramount position and individual team members understand that they must do exactly as their leader instructs them or suffer the consequences. They know that their leader is in control and that his or her decisions are the best for the team.

You will probably never hear any suggestion that a tough but successful basketball coach is cruel or unfair, just as there is seldom any thought that a field commander is doing anything but the right thing when he brings a coward, a deserter or a mutineer up on charges. Hierarchy has worked amongst groups of human beings in mutual endeavours for eons and it will work in the twenty first century.

Please do not misunderstand me. I know that basketball teams and armies have different dynamics than industry, business or the public sector. With that in mind, we must accept that modern leaders cannot lead through intimidation, threats, unfair discipline, anger, rudeness or punishment.

If modern leaders want to be successful, they must retain control and generate maximum performance through strength and firmness while holding their employees accountable for their work. There must be measures in place that will allow leaders to exercise their control over their employees for the betterment and integrity of the team. Employees must understand that if they are not able to follow the fair and simple rules of their positions or are not able to show ordinary respect through things like consistently showing up on time, they will be held accountable and may be disciplined or terminated.  

Leaders need not set up an adversarial relationship with employee groups. If they simply outline fair and reasonable expectations to their people and gain their agreement, they will be able act responsibly in the future with little fear of criticism or discord. When employees understand the rules and those rules are monitored fairly and consistently, everyone benefits and everyone wins!

Communication and courage are the keys!

Let’s start a LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION! Let’s stop being afraid of our employees! Let’s stop settling for less! Let’s take our businesses back!

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl