Who Needs Wisdom?

This is my favourite definition of wisdom:

“good sense; the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience"

Note that good sense requires personal knowledge and experience in order to be effective. Wisdom cannot grow and flourish in isolation. When one operates with poor or potentially harmful personal knowledge or under the influence of a wealth of negative or destructive prior experience, the concept of good sense generally goes right out the window.

This explains why the great leaders of the world and those we hold in high regard are almost always people who have lived positive, ethical lives. We admire them because they bask in positive light. Conversely, imagine how damaging it is for the careers of celebrities, politicians and business leaders who disregard the good wisdom they have learned over a lifetime, while performing in negative or unethical ways. They seemed not to understand that not only must wisdom be learned over time...it must be utilized for a lifetime!

We have all borne witness to the widely publicized indiscretions of a beloved golfer, a famous actor and a respected Governor that have graced the covers of tabloids and news media over the past few months.

Had the golfer, the actor or the Governor utilized the good sense and accumulated wisdom that they had at their disposal, they would not be in the respective predicaments they find themselves in now.

The three I mention are not the only people who have committed indiscretions or done something horrifically wrong that they lived to regret later. The world is full of people who from time to time, refuse to listen to the good sense that most human beings have in their minds and hearts and instead listen to the dark side of their souls where evil lurks and common sense is unwelcome. In fact, all human beings are prone to having occasional wisdom-defying thoughts. We all think negative things about other people and we all consider doing or saying inappropriate things from time to time.

None of us is free from an occasional bout of overt imprudence or internalized unkindness.

Right now, as you read this, there is someone in your life that you hold in high regard; someone you admire; someone you envy, and someone you love. Each one of those people could become someone who disappoints you, someone who disgusts you, or someone you are embarrassed by in the blink of an eye. The second they drop their guard, forget about the wisdom they know they should uphold, and perform an indiscretion, you will have the culturally acceptable right to turn your back on them. Because they have not used their common sense or acted sensibly you will probably feel the need to shun them and of course if the indiscretion is sensational enough, the media will have a salacious field day with their lives despite all the good they might have done prior to defying wisdom.

Who needs wisdom? We all do!

We all need to think about what is right and what is wrong as we make our way through life. When we decide to push our values or the values of society out of our lives, we open ourselves up to rejection, ridicule, desperation and despair.

No matter what your position in life, how you present yourself to the world and how others see you will have a deeply profound influence on the quality of your life. Think about this each time one of those very human, wisdom-defying thoughts enters your mind. Think about the other people in your lives and think about yourself...think about how much better your life will be if you simply do what you know is right!

Oh, and try to practice forgiveness when someone in your life defies his or her own wisdom. Accept that they are human and they are part of the majority of people on earth who make mistakes from time to time. Don’t dwell on the indiscretion and don’t drag out rejection and ridicule for long periods of time. Those folks feel bad enough already and they don’t need your criticism to add insult to their injury and embarrassment.

As the old adage goes: To err is human-To forgive divine!

I wish everyone a life of wisdom and good sense with only inconsequential indiscretions and a large measure of forgiveness. If you utilize your unique wisdom at all times, you will be assured a life of happiness, respect and love.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

What's Up With Generation "Y"?

Have a listen to this short video on the younger generation:

http://www.ilstv.com/generation-y/

Social Media Etiquette?

Click here to listen to a short video on social media etiquette:

 http://www.ilstv.com/electronic-hit-and-run-2/

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Click here for a video on the value of living in the present

http://www.ilstv.com/all-good-things-must-end/

Managing Your Time In The Cyber World

There is a lot of talk about time management these days. In fact, in these times when technology is bringing new and better innovations to every person on earth at lightning speed, most people have trouble finding time to do everything that is available to them. Business leaders are always on the lookout for new ideas to increase the success of their companies and because there are so many great advancements flying around in cyberspace, they are bombarding their people with more and more information every day. So much information, in fact that people are buckling under the load of it all to the point that workplace stress is rapidly becoming one of the most common reasons for employee absenteeism.

We all must accept that because of the amount of information flying at us every day, we will never be caught up!

It is impossible to get caught up on reading and digesting everything we receive on our computers, so don’t even try. Before we can move beyond the inevitable information overload that technology brings, we must accept that if we don’t learn how to filter the data that we are exposed to, we will never avoid the challenges of the cyber world. As much as the great loads of knowledge that we are subjected to daily will never cease, we must become quite ruthless in the ways we handle it. We must have the courage to discard the useless or almost useless information and retain only that which truly matters to our work. Try this: If you can’t use it to assist you in your job in the near future, don’t read it...delete it or file it immediately!

Technology brings procrastination!

Even the most technologically handicapped of us can sit down at a laptop, a PC or one of the new tablet devices and find ourselves spending hours surfing and socializing. Technology has given us some completely new ways of wasting time that are quite subtle and frighteningly seductive. Facebook, Twitter and Linked in give us outlets for our social needs while also providing valuable information to help us with our jobs and our personal lives. There is a blog available for almost every concept, culture, occupation or opinion in the world and every company on earth that sells anything has a website. The challenge or more appropriately, the goal, should be to eliminate everything that is merely a pleasant pastime and focus on the things that we can actually use to improve our immediate, real-world environment. If you find yourself running out of time, review your day and remind yourself how much time you spent working on your job and how much time you spent staring at your monitor.

Email is time management death!

What did we do before email? ... We sent memo’s on paper via snail-mail or picked up the telephone and spoke with other human beings about our issues. Because both of those options were somewhat laborious and time consuming, we tended to do more things ourselves without outside intervention. Now, with access to cyberspace, whenever we have a question or a thought we spin around in our chairs and send an email. Often we will cc or blind-cc a bunch of other people just to make sure we cover all the possible bases. Then the person who is the primary recipient replies to all and adds a couple of more people to the distribution list just to make sure all of the stakeholders are in the loop. At that point all of the people on the combined distribution lists also reply to all and add a few of their favourite people to the list...And the next thing you know our one, simple question has spawned literally hundreds of emails that are flying around in cyberspace, wasting the time of countless people...some of whom we have never met and never will.

Not only do we waste time reading emails, we waste time waiting for replies to them. In the days before cyberspace when we needed to know something, we took the direct route of a personal visit or a phone call. Now, I find people putting important work off because the person they need information or permission from has not returned their email. When I ask, “Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call them?” I am often told that they don’t want, or will not take phone calls...they prefer to correspond by email. During the past decade I have found myself on several occasions explaining some weighty business subject over the telephone only to be rebuked by the person on the other end, saying something along the lines of, “That’s great. Send me an email explaining what you want and I will be happy to deal with it!” Arrrggghhh!!!

Don’t even get me started on emailed jokes, ads, or chain-letters!

The bottom line is that we have time management problems these days because we allow ourselves to procrastinate and waste time on computer-generated junk mail, spam, indecisiveness, and delays. If you want to move closer to well-managed time, turn off your email, resist the urge to surf, and focus on the job at hand. If you are a leader, impress upon your employees, the need to focus on their work and filter out as much unnecessary cyber-junk as possible. Hey, and here’s a novel idea...Instead of sending multiple emails, pick up the telephone and talk to someone!

There is no shortage of time...we just need to manage it better!

All the best

Wayne Kehl

Are You Truly Kind?

Find out how kind you are here:

http://www.ilstv.com/are-you-truly-kind/

You are not who you think you are!

We all wake up each morning with a personal vision of ourselves. We look in the mirror and see ourselves staring back, with bleary eyes and messy hair. When we see the way we look, we immediately set about improving our appearance. We shower, shave, wash, comb our hair, put on makeup if we are women, and make ourselves smell good. Before we leave the house we put on some appropriate clothing and head out to face the day. Because we have done all the right things for our physical being, we believe all is well with the world...

 

But what about our emotional and psychological beings?

We all have a personal vision of how we present ourselves to others. We think we are forceful, bashful, aggressive or nice. We see ourselves as smarter than some but not as bright as others. We think we are just a little bit better at our jobs than the guy in the next office but not nearly as innovative as Bill Gates or the guy who invented those handy little sticky notes. We like ourselves or we hate ourselves...or somewhere in between. We think we are highly regarded by all or wonder why we never seem to get respect from anybody. We laugh when we are hurt and we smile when we are insulted. At the end of each day, many of us have not accomplished everything we wanted to and most of us cannot understand why everyone didn’t agree with everything we said.

We all know what we look like, but most of us really don’t know how other people see us.

Only those closest to us will tell us what they really think of us but because they are close to us, they will generally only say nice things, slathered with big gobs of positive bias. Hopefully, they really care for us and are happy to overlook our shortcomings. Everyone else on earth is thinking that we are this way or that. They might think we are pushy, obnoxious, stupid or silly. They might respect what we have done but they might not like us at all for who we are. We can’t understand why some people are more popular than us even when it is clear that we are smarter or funnier than them. We trick ourselves into thinking we are popular with lots of fans, when deep in our hearts we know we really are not.

For the most part, our own personal vision of ourselves is carved in stone and nothing on earth can be said or done to change our minds about who we are.

Most of us have built a vision of ourselves that is based on who we want to be...not who we really are or even, who we are capable of being. We create our personal vision in our minds and try valiantly to live up to it. Often when we fail to live up to who we want to be we soldier on anyway, telling ourselves that we are as great as we thought we were. We find fault with the system, a product, other people, the company, the Government or whatever external thing is closest to the situation that made us fail. We are never wrong! Our vision of ourselves must not be tampered with at any cost and we will fight anyone who tries to tell us otherwise!

Unfortunately, if the results we are getting do not match up with the way we feel about ourselves, there is a hole as wide and deep as the Grand Canyon in the way we view ourselves.

If we are not willing to accept that there might be something wrong with the way we present ourselves and that we might need to change, we will be doomed to a life of frustration and disappointment. If people look the other way when we come towards them, refuse to make eye contact when talking to us, disagree with us regularly, don’t invite us to events we think we should be at or don’t return our phone messages, there might be a problem. Now is the time to face up to it and deal with it!

It is possible that your vision is flawed and you need to look into the mirror again. This time look into your soul and tell yourself the truth about who you really are!

Get a coach.

The road to true happiness is paved with self-awareness! The best way to find it is to talk to a coach. The coach can be anyone you trust to listen to you intently and tell you the truth about who you really are, without reservation. Listen to her, discuss what changes you might make to improve the way you present yourself and most importantly, trust your coach. Never aggressively challenge him and never suggest that he doesn’t know what he is talking about. All you will do is drive her away or eliminate the value of her counsel. If you give your coach the permission to be honest with you, and choose to work on the things he or she recommends, your life will improve immeasurably.

Take an assessment.

There are a lot of computerized assessments on the market that will tell you clearly and concisely what motivates you, what sort of behaviour you are likely to exhibit in any given situation, how you feel about yourself. They will also tell you how you fit into your environment. These reports are dead-accurate and I recommend them highly. Contact me for more information on where to find the best ones.

 

Look in the mirror! There might just be a greater person looking back than you ever imagined!

 

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Positive Passion Leads To Success

“Genuine leaders never pursue or expect adulation or “star” status. When they receive it, they accept it graciously and move on to the next challenge. Leadership is not about personal victory. It is about winning through teamwork and positive energy by and for every member of the team.”

 Wayne Kehl

My book, “A Passion For Leadership” is about the power of positive reinforcement in the workplace and in life. I called the simple, yet complex concept of consistent and persistent positive reinforcement, Positive Passion. In the book, I created the following anagram for the word, POSITIVE to bring greater meaning to positivity and to make it more memorable. Here it is:

Power
Opportunity
Sensitivity
Intelligence
Tolerance
Interest
Vision
Excitement

If you live with EXCITEMENT, VISION, INTEREST, TOLERANCE, INTELLIGENCE, SENSITIVITY, and take advantage of the OPPORTUNITIES they bring, you will find the POWER that leads to SUCCESS!”

PRACTICE POSITIVE PASSION

If you practice Positive Passion, you will have the power to accomplish anything and everything you want. Remember what I always say, “no one has ever succeeded through pure negativity.” You cannot possibly get the things you want out of life unless you approach everything you do with a positive attitude. I want every one of you to be successful and I want every one of you to be the best you can be…Most importantly though, I want every one of you to be happy. Happy people are the winners in our society and they have the power to do anything they want!

MAKE YOUR JOB EASIER

The power of Positive Passion will make your job much easier too! Imagine a workplace where everyone is happy! Imagine a workplace where every task that each and every one of your employees undertakes, is done with a smile. Imagine how a consistently happy employee group could impact on your sales. Just imagine the comments you would receive from your customers if they met nothing but happy, cheerful employees in every area of your business. Think about how easy your job would be if all of your employees came to work with a good attitude everyday and none of them ever got into a dispute. Imagine what life would be like if none of your people ever talked badly about any of the others.

GROW AS A PERSON

Positive Passion is an opportunity to grow as a person and to improve your relationships with virtually every person you come into contact with. Just think how much stress you could shed if you drove all negativity from your mind. The majority of stress we carry around with us is based in negative thoughts and negative situations. If you can simply begin to see only the positive elements of any situation and look for ways to be positive with every person you meet, you will find that stress will become a thing of the past and you will greet every morning with a smile on your face. When you think negative thoughts you almost always create a negative result. If for example you believe that you are going to have a bad day…you will have a bad day…guaranteed! If you believe that one of your employees is going to let you down…they will surely let you down.

GOOD PEOPLE

Have you ever noticed who the popular men and women are in any group of people?

They are generally the ones who have only good things to say about people, things, and situations. They constantly make positive comments and find the good in everyone. When someone does something good or bad, the popular people encourage them and offer them positive reinforcement. If something goes well, they pat them on the back. When something goes badly, they let them know that they have done their best and that they should keep trying. They turn every challenge into an opportunity to reinforce the value of each human being they meet.

NICE PEOPLE

Have you ever noticed which people are referred to as nice and which people are most trusted in any group of people?...I have! They are those positive people who say kind, supportive things about everyone they meet. They never speak badly about anyone behind their backs and they always counter negative commentary from others with a positive point of view. The thing I find interesting about this phenomenon is that mankind cherishes and reveres positive people and yet most of us spend a huge amount of our time being negative.

NEGATIVE PEOPLE

It is almost as if we choose to be negative because we think that a purely positive attitude is something we can never really achieve. We seem to feel that negativity is somehow honorable and appropriate when we are not getting our own way. We also seem to think negativity will somehow or other create a positive result. We think that if we criticize someone, they will become better…but they won’t. We think that if we complain about a problem it will go away…but it won’t. We think that if we speak badly about the place we work, our boss will find out about it and suddenly go out of his make things better for us…But he or she won’t!”

“It all starts with you,”

This is your opportunity if you choose to accept it, folks! Choose to be positive…Choose to be happy and successful! Take the opportunity to be positive about every aspect of your life and you will always win.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

From: "A Passion For Leadership" ©Wayne Kehl, 2008 Available at Amazon.com at this link: Order "A Passion For Leadership"



Nothing ever gets done without hard work!

Have a listen to this short video clip about Perseverance:

http://www.ilstv.com/do-you-have-perseverance/

Easter Is For Leaders

Easter is a holiday celebrated each spring in many countries throughout the world. It is essentially a Christian religious celebration based on the scriptures which indicate that Jesus rose from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion. Each year we celebrate the resurrection on Easter Sunday. Interestingly, Easter can be considered a moveable feast since the date of it is not fixed in relation to our calendar. It is in fact, celebrated on the first Sunday after the northern hemisphere’s full moon or vernal equinox. Hence the date can vary between March 22 and April 25.

“So, why do we celebrate Easter with eggs and bunnies?” you might ask. These modern-day symbols of Easter are attributed to ancient legends. The Ancient Egyptians believed that the earth hatched from an egg and therefore it symbolized new life that returns. The Egyptians also believed that rabbits symbolized new life and rebirth. The visit of the Easter Bunny apparently came about due to a German legend that a poor woman decorated and hid eggs for her children during a famine. Just as the children found the eggs, a large rabbit was seen hopping away. Most children these days know about the resurrection of Jesus but very few give any thought as to why they eat a lot of candy eggs and bunnies at Easter.

The point of all of this is that the human race has shown itself to have an incredible propensity for creating traditional holidays based on ancient stories, despite the graveness of their origins. People need traditions in their lives but they tend to diminish the seriousness of the religious aspects of them by creating icons like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Valentines Hearts have all but eradicated the remembrance of Saint Valentine, himself. These icons appear to have been created to make the traditions less serious and more fun for children. Human beings like to have fun whenever they can and the more light-hearted aspects of the celebrations are what creates dedication to, and longevity of, our traditions.

When we celebrate Easter we are really celebrating the rebirth of the greatest leader of mankind, Jesus. Despite any religious view you might have it occurs to me that when Easter Sunday comes around each year, we should think about mankind and how history is replete with leaders that made our world what it is today. Non-Christian countries also have celebrations based on ancient leaders and icons. Muslims, for example celebrate Ramadan, which is a month-long celebration for the revelations of God to humankind. It is apparently, the month in which the first verses of the Qur’an or Koran were revealed to the prophet and great Muslim leader, Muhammad. In India, Sikhs celebrate Diwali, which is said to celebrate the release from prison of the sixth guru, Hargobind who rescued 52 Hindu kings held captive by the Mughal Emperor in the Gwalior Fort in 1619. In China they have the Duanwu Festival or Dragon Boat Festival which is believed to be a celebration of the ancient Chinese leader and poet, Qu Yuan who drowned himself in the Miluo River after being banished by the reigning king of the state of Chu. As you can see, virtually every culture on earth has celebrations based on great leaders of the past.

The great that that are honored with holidays all over the world possessed a common thread...each and every one of them is known to have been a kind, caring leader who thought nothing of his own life or safety. They were willing to give up their own lives for their people.

We don’t need a holiday to celebrate the greatness of those who went before us. We can quite easily honor and respect the goodness of mankind’s leaders every day. We should all educate ourselves on what made the great leaders of the past deserving of such deep reverence by modern people and attempt to emulate, in some small way, the thoughts, actions and attitudes of them. We can all become better people and a good first step is to learn from those who went before us.

When you celebrate Easter, Ramadan, Diwali, or the Dragon Boat Festival this year, have fun, enjoy the day, and spend a few minutes thinking about how those great leaders of the past made it possible for us all to enjoy better lives.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

Harassment...A Leadership Dilemma

The world of business and industry has improved dramatically for women over the past two decades but we are still hearing a lot about male chauvinism, glass ceilings and gender discrimination. Despite the positive efforts of business leaders, I personally believe that there is a diminished but definite level of unfair and unfounded gender discrimination still alive and well in North America today. We are evolving to a better world, but evolution is a slow process. This discussion of harassment is intended to bring some clarity to one of the most provocative elements of the glass ceiling challenge.

Here is one interpretation of the word, “harassment”:

When used in the workplace it can be generally defined as unwelcome comments or conduct based on sex, race or other legally protected characteristics that unreasonably interferes with an employee’s work performance or is intimidating, hostile or offensive to another person.

Examples of sexual harassment can include but are not limited to:

Leering or staring in a sexually suggestive manner; offensive remarks about appearance, clothing or body parts; unwanted touching, pinching, patting, or intentional brushing against another person’s body; telling sexual or lewd jokes; making sexual gestures, making unwanted sexual advances, displaying or circulating sexually suggestive emails, letters, notes, images or other materials.

(Each jurisdiction has its own laws and interpretations on the subject)

Note that the harassment need not necessarily be directed at the person who ultimately makes the complaint. Any of these scenarios when overheard or viewed from a distance that make another person uncomfortable can be construed as harassment. Note too, that although men are considered the usual culprits, sexual harassment is not the sole domain of males. Women can in fact be guilty of harassing men or other women, should they be guilty of initiating any of the scenarios noted above.

The distaff side of society has men running-scared on the sexual harassment front. There has been so much media attention focused on it that men are often afraid to be too friendly or simply act like themselves around women at work. As much as harassment should not be tolerated, it must be real and tangible before it is acted upon. Interestingly, as business and industry evolve, we are beginning to find that some women tend to mimic men in the workplace in order to move up the corporate ladder. That evolutionary behavior seems to include more cursing, more talking about sex, more leering at men, more sexually suggestive remarks about men, (and to men) on an ever-increasing level.

While most men are trying to be more politically correct and cautious about how they speak to women, a small number of ladies are reversing the roles by becoming more provocative and in some cases by adopting the chauvinistic ways of men. Unfortunately, women must be cautious when emulating male attitudes since more-liberated, less-feminine conduct might be misconstrued as promiscuity or even sexual harassment against men. As they endeavour to shatter the glass ceiling, women in the workplace have a very complex line to walk.

It is important to understand that anti-discrimination laws are not concrete, universal codes of conduct. In other words the laws do not prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not intended to be serious. The conduct must be so offensive as to alter the working conditions of the person being harassed. The harassment must actually create a tangible and negative effect on the life of the complainant or be sufficient to create a hostile work environment. In other words, people who have a bad sense of humor or a bad attitude are not to be considered guilty of sexual harassment unless it becomes an extremely egregious or harmful matter for another employee. Before anyone brings a formal charge of sexual harassment, they should document their complaint and make certain they can formally back up the justifications for it.

A charge of harassment can end a career or destroy a life so it must be taken very seriously!

Some suggestions on how to deal with harassment:

• Always remain calm and think before reacting.

• Always respond to improper behavior rationally and without anger.

• Bring complaints of discrimination or harassment against others only when you know it is real and deliberate but never allow genuine discrimination or harassment to go unnoticed. Genuine harassment should be stopped and the offender dealt with very seriously!

• Managers, supervisors, and leaders at all levels must do everything they can to discourage and prevent harassment in the workplace.

• Parents must impress upon their children that harassment is very wrong from an early age.

• When faced with adversity or prejudice at work, forge on with dignity.

Harassment in the workplace is a very real dilemma for leaders because it is bad for morale and can affect production and performance levels. Men and women can get along very well at work when they strive deliberately for it while carefully avoiding the common pitfalls. Many women are moving up corporate ladders by practicing patience and pushing aside stereotypes while refusing to accept anything less than what they deserve. Persistence and consistently good performance will win over gender bias or negativity fostered by old stereotypes and chauvinistic attitudes every time. Just think about some of the great female leaders of history such as Elizabeth Fry or Mother Teresa. They acted with gentility and kindness in a male dominated world at times and in places where women were more likely to fail than succeed…yet succeed they did!

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

From “A Man on Women” © Wayne Kehl 2010

If Babies Ruled The World

On April 2, 2011 my daughter gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. I put a photo of the little darling on my Facebook page with the caption, “This is my new granddaughter. Cute Huh?” Within seconds the comments and “likes” started coming in. Within 24 hours I received dozens of complimentary messages from old friends and people I don’t really know all over the world. People who had never corresponded with me in any way, shape or form in the past suddenly found me interesting and felt the need to comment on my granddaughter. They said wonderful things like, “she is so beautiful”; “she is absolutely precious”; “so adorable”; “priceless,” to name a few. People sent me emails and stopped me in the street to congratulate me, almost as if I had been the one that gave birth. As I pondered this sudden and unexpected notoriety, I asked myself the following questions:

• Why is that people of all ages, races, cultures and genders are so attracted to babies?

• Why would people who never communicated with me before want to communicate with me just because my daughter had a baby?

• What is it about a baby that causes such immediate outpourings of emotion from people who don’t even know the baby or its parents?

• Why do people wish the best of everything to the family members of a new baby whether they know them or not?

Now please don’t get me wrong...I have appreciated and enjoyed every one of the kind comments I have received but I have to think that the answers to these questions are rooted in psychology. Babies after all, serve little purpose immediately after their entry into the world. They really just spend their time being extra work for their mothers and fathers as they develop and mature. Most people do not enjoy changing diapers, late-night feedings, or screaming fits but all of those things are forgotten whenever a baby smiles or makes a funny noise. People who are excited by the birth of another person’s baby have deliberately forgotten about the challenges of baby-rearing and are instead overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the miracle and wonder of birth. Babies bring joy to all who view them and their mere presence is cause for celebration. Here are some reasons why babies would make better world-leaders than adults do:

1. Babies are totally trustworthy. They are incapable of deceit, malice or guile.

2. Babies are always cute despite their physical appearance. They are far too precious to ever be considered ugly.

3. Babies speak badly of no one. Their speech is limited to short, unintelligible blurbs that are always assumed to be positive.

4. Babies bring such joy to their families that other people want to share in the emotional outpouring.

5. Babies provide a positive image of the present. They have no history and their future always looks bright.

6. Babies are not selfish, arrogant or greedy. They will not learn those things for years to come.

7. Babies are helpless and in need of nurturing. Most adults achieve great satisfaction from nurturing others.

8. Babies are loved by everyone. Only the worst human beings would actually dislike a baby.

9. Babies never argue or criticize. They must be trained to do that by their peers and parents.

10. Babies provide adults with a much more positive view of the world than they can possibly garner from other adults.

These observations brought me to the realization that babies represent the best of the human race. If you re-read the ten items above, you will soon recognize some traits that we would like to see in our bosses, leaders, spouses, friends and family members. It is clear that if everyone on earth possessed those qualities, we would seldom have fights, arguments, wars or any other form of strife. If babies ruled the world, there would be no stress, no psychosis, no psychosomatic illness and very little need for psychiatric help.

Of course, I know that physical and intellectual limitations would prevent babies from actually ruling the world as it is today. However, wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if more adults dropped their guards of defensiveness, their walls of egoism, their images of importance, their need to be better than others and simply learned to be kinder, gentler people?

Babies just want to live, to learn, and to love. Why can’t we all be like that?

We can all learn something from babies. The next time you see a newborn baby, think about the joy that they bring just by being in the world. Imagine how we could all benefit from living life with the simple, untainted qualities of our tiniest human beings.

In the words of my children: “Babies Rule!”

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

What Makes A Superstar Employee?

The secret to success that all great employers have discovered is as simple as, “right person-right job.” When people are placed into jobs they can excel in every time, miracles can happen. Think about the following questions:

• Have you ever noticed how managers, supervisors and leaders of all kinds often expect everyone to perform at the same level?

• Do you ever wonder why some people become superstars in their jobs, outperforming all others in the same field?

• Do you wish you could be acknowledged as the very best at what you do?

Just as in the fields of entertainment and athletics, every profession has its superstars. In any workplace it is quite easy to find someone who consistently does more work in a shorter period of time than the rest of their team. Often they will also turn out a better product and make fewer mistakes than their less capable counterparts.

“So, why can’t everyone perform at the same level?”

The answer has less to do with aptitude than it does with motivation and behaviour. Aptitude can be defined as natural skill, talent or job-specific intelligence. That comes with time, but at the core of every superstar is a natural motivation toward the work he or she does. Athletes are often borne with natural size, excellent hand-eye coordination or exceptional speed, but before they have the opportunity to show off their abilities they have to be motivated to become athletes. They must have a desire to run, throw, kick, skate, bat or do whatever activity is required. If they have no interest or motivation toward athletics, they will struggle, fumble, and ultimately fail while those borne with the same natural physical characteristics AND a great interest in being a superstar athlete will succeed.

“Behaviour is the offspring of motivational satisfaction.”

Hence, those who are highly motivated will exhibit better attitudes and their behaviour is likely to be peppered with excitement and elation. On the other hand, their less-motivated counterparts will ultimately exhibit lethargy, disinterest and defeat.

The same phenomenon that we see in athletes applies to every person and every job on earth. When we place people in jobs that they have no real desire to do, the best we can expect is mediocre results. For example, if we were to take two people of identical ages, identical IQ’s, identical education, but with contrary methodological motivations and put them both in the profession of accounting we will probably find that one does better than the other. It is conceivable in extreme cases that after their training is complete one will become a superstar accountant and the other will not be able to do his or her own personal taxes.

“We all enjoy doing things we do well and there is a greater chance of us doing well at something we enjoy because our motivation will drive us to greater effort and better results.”

Despite all of that, employers and employees keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Employers continue to expect benchmark performance from every person in every job and employees keep applying for and acquiring jobs that they have no chance of ever performing well in. When that happens, a performance bottleneck occurs as the motivated employees work around the poor performers and the less-motivated workers inadvertently or deliberately slow everyone else down.

“In many cases the poor performers do not know or will not accept that they are not as motivated as their superstar co-workers.”

Usually poor performers simply resent over-achievers for their obvious tenacity and drive and tell themselves that they are just as good as anyone else. Their self-deception often causes them to make excuses for their poor performance and to look for ways to make the superstars look bad. The result: Poor morale, lack of teamwork and ultimately, reduced production and poor financial performance for the entire organization.

What is the answer? For employees, it is imperative that they know what their motivations are and then seek out jobs that excite them. People who apply for jobs that do not interest them for the sole purpose of achieving status or fortune will generally achieve neither. Employers who hire random bodies or people who say the right things during interviews instead of hiring people who are truly motivated to do the job they are offering, are continually disappointed. Often they are left scratching their heads as to what went wrong. If you want to be happier in your work, identify your passions and find a job where you can realize and cultivate them.

“If you want to run a high-performing workplace, there are a lot of motivational assessment tools on the market that can help you avoid the all-too-common mistake of hiring unmotivated employees. Buy them and use them.”

Highly successful businesses with superstar workers do not happen by accident. They are the product of great leadership that puts that right person in the right job every time. And don’t forget that very successful people get to do what they do best everyday so discover what motivates you and do everything you can to make it an integral part of your work.

All the Best
Wayne Kehl

Leaders Need Followers To Be Successful!

Have you ever noticed that some employees will stay in jobs that they do not really enjoy, or are not really suited to for long periods of time? Have you met people who stay in a lower paying job even though they have been offered more money somewhere else? A business needs long-term employees in order to be successful and competitive over the long run. So why aren’t all employees loyal to one employer for their entire careers?

It is a common assumption in business that people seldom actually leave a job for money. My experience as a manager taught me that there is a lot of truth in that statement. Money is often used as an excuse but truly engaged employees will never know how much they are worth at another shop because they do not search for other opportunities and they do not even entertain offers from other employers. So what might be different about a workplace where employees stay on board through thick and thin, year in and year out? Two words explain it: Great Leadership!

When I was a regional manager for a large multi-national firm, I could almost always correlate large staff turnover rates with poor branch performance. That part was easy to understand because when a lot of staff are coming and going, the experienced workers are stretched by doing more than their share of the work, while at same time having to train the new employees. The new employees, through no fault of their own generally know very little about their new jobs and have a huge learning curve to overcome before they can become good performers. In poorly lead companies, many of them do not make it past the training stage and every time a trainee leaves the firm, another experienced person is pushed that much closer to the door. While all of that is going on, the business cannot possibly focus on strong performance and production tends to wane.

In almost every case where I found large turnover rates, I found a manager who was not a leader. In most of those cases, when I spoke to them about it, they could not understand why their people did not choose to stay and they protested ferociously if I suggested that employees might be leaving because of their management style. Usually they argued that the people were the problem and it had nothing to do with them. In most cases they felt that they did everything any great leader would do under the circumstances and that they simply had a shortage of good applicants. They could not accept the idea that people did not enjoy working for them and they had no idea what to do about it. They did not understand that they had employees, but what they really needed were followers. In a few cases, I was forced to relieve those managers of their management positions in order to maintain the profitability of the branches. Some people can learn to be better leaders through training and personal development, while others cannot.

Here are ten things that great leaders do to engage their employees and keep them on staff:


• They lead with humility and selflessness, putting the needs of employees ahead of their own.

• They work tirelessly, setting a great example for their team.

• They support their workers when they have problems or get into trouble.

• They listen constantly and consistently to their workers.

• They respond immediately, openly and honestly when asked a question.

• They do not play favourites and treat everyone fairly and equitably.

• They never show impatience or anger toward employees.

• They never speak negatively about employees behind their backs.

• They make good decisions for the business and for their workers.

• They understand that every person is different and that no two people perform the same way.

Of course this is not the complete list. There are many attributes that make up a great leadership style but most importantly great leaders must know how to lead themselves first and they must accept that they too, have room to grow. Only through self-awareness can any person lead another. A manager who has large staff turnover rates and poor performance has probably not come to grips with his or her inability to lead. Until he or she looks in the mirror and tells the person looking back that they need to change, they will never become a great leader.

A leader without long-term, engaged and devoted followers is just a lonely person with a title.

All the Best!
Wayne Kehl

It's A Dog's Life

As I travel through my life, I  often notice that dogs have some interesting effects on people. In the presence of a dog, even the gruffest, most hardened human beings can become soft and caring. I also notice that in the past few decades, more and more people are adopting dogs than ever before. In fact, I believe it safe to say that human beings harbour much more generalized affection for the entire canine species than they do for the human race. As a lifelong dog lover, my observations caused me to ask myself some very important questions about our puppy friends...

•  Why do so many people own a dog or wish they could own a dog?
•  Why do so many people stroke the hair of almost every dog they meet?
•  Why do people hold their hands out for olfactory inspection by even the scariest mutts?
• Why do people enjoy watching dogs playing with their owners in a park or in their homes?
• Why is human behaviour more patient and kind with dogs than with people? 
• What is it that dogs do to affect the emotions of people so deeply? 
• Why do seventy percent of dog owners call themselves Mommy or Daddy to their dogs? 
• What is it about dogs that make people so darned happy?

Of course some of the answers are obvious...dogs are cute, funny and fun to play with. Because they are not human, they are incapable of lying, cheating or bragging. In a wonderful way, they always display a childish naiveté and sense of wonder. I was curious though, if there might be some deeper reasons why people love dogs. My curiosity led me to the following conclusions:

The positive influence of dogs can be traced right back to human infancy. Exposure to well-behaved dogs can improve intellectual and cognitive development in babies and small children while stimulating their immune systems to help them avoid allergies and skin irritations. With increased exposure to pets, even at a very early age, babies will learn compassion and responsibility for animals that will spill over to their relationships with human beings.

As children age, their relationships with dogs can help them improve their self-esteem, increase their empathy toward others, and nurture better communication skills. Dogs tend to give insecure adolescents a sense of purpose and a feeling of value to the world that they would not otherwise have. That confidence can improve their natural ability to socialize with other people.

A dog can provide much-needed companionship to adults and provide them with a purpose for living while encouraging a more active life. “Walking the dog,” is, after all one of the most common forms of physical exercise in North America. Studies have indicated that a dog in the workplace can bring employee stress levels down and improve morale. It is also believed that dog ownership can directly or indirectly provide some of the following health benefits to adults:

• Lowered blood pressure

• Lower cholesterol levels

• Increase immunity to illness

• Reduced stress levels

• Reduced anxiety and depression levels

• Diminished incidence of heart disease

I am not an animal psychologist or a “dog whisperer” but I think it is safe to say that the main reason people enjoy being around dogs is because they provide unconditional love to the human beings closest to them. No matter how aloof a dog-owner is or how mean or uncaring he or she might be, a dog’s naturally generous nature will cause the pup to come back for more. Dogs always forgive their owners their greatest transgressions as they optimistically strive for a greater share of the affection all human beings are capable of. All they want from their owners is love and the opportunity to love them back.

Dogs that are taught bad behavior by a human being might be considered bad dogs but even those dogs love their owners. A dog that has been trained to be aggressive or even vicious by human beings will seldom, if ever turn on his or her owner or trainers. Most dogs are inherently good natured. Even a vicious dog will strive for the love and affection of the people closest to him or her. They are only vicious because they believe that is what their owners want. Their aggressiveness is a desperate display of loyalty. Only a human being can create a bad dog.

If human beings could learn to be more like the dogs they cherish, the world would be a much better place, indeed. There might still be an occasional dogfight, but the abundance of unconditional love, generosity, and forgiveness would far outweigh any negatives.

Keep an eye on the dogs in your life. They might just help you learn how to get along with people just a little bit better!

All the Best
Wayne Kehl

Lighten Up Or Heavy Up...The Choice Is Yours

Have you ever noticed that a lot of people tend to take themselves too seriously? You know who I mean:



• Those folks who huff and puff with righteous indignation whenever they are challenged.


• Those people who glare and stare whenever someone says something they believe is inappropriate.


• Those individuals who seem to believe that it is okay for them to say things to others that should never be directed at them.


Do you have people like that in your life? Do you from time to time find them becoming annoyed by words, situations, or people that they would accept in the past but which have suddenly become intolerable to their egocentric psyches? Are you one of those people? When you see this happening in yourself or others, what do you think might be happening?


Human beings are driven by ego. Every person with a beating heart possesses some level of egoism. Egoism must not be confused with Egotism. The subtle difference between the two is that egoism is the natural pride and self esteem that we all have for ourselves while egotism is an outward display of self esteem which usually comes across as arrogance or conceit. Egotism is generally undesirable in human society but egoism is necessary for a normal, happy life. People who lose their egoism are usually depressed, miserable, or feeling a sense of despair. They have given up. Egoism is what made human beings the superior beings on our planet. It is that special ingredient that causes us to build huge buildings, fly to the moon and constantly research cures for diseases. It creates in us, a need to win!


Occasionally, egoism can turn to egotism. I call this heavying up. Sometimes a person who is normally even tempered and easy to get along with will change their approach to specific relationships. When that happens, we find folks saying things like this:


• “You can’t talk to me like that!” or


• “That’s not funny!” or


• “Whatever!” or


• “How would you know?”


Often this is because the person saying those things has allowed his or her ego to take flight in order to elevate them to a higher position than the person they are talking to. They have decided that the words or actions of the other person are repugnant to them in some way and have decided to react in an egotistical, humourless fashion, thereby belittling the other individual. It is intended to put them down or control them. Sometimes they will simply become uncommunicative in an effort to freeze the other person out. Sound familiar?


There can be many reasons for heavying up but usually the person that has allowed his or her ego to take over is feeling demeaned, insulted, hurt or simply afraid. Their ego is telling them to strike out in order to take control. Rather than thinking the situation through and treating the other person as an equal they believe that they can win by being superior, difficult, sarcastic or uncaring. For a moment in time they are acting like someone else. Their behaviour is neither characteristic nor acceptable even to them. They have been taken over by their internal self-defence mechanisms and they don’t really understand the ramifications of their actions.


When you come across people who are heavying up on you, do not react in kind. Do not retaliate with sarcasm or nastiness. That will only make the situation worse. Instead, take the high road and calmly explain to them that you mean no harm and that you would like help in resolving the issue at hand. Ask if you have offended them somehow and let them know that their opinions matter to you. The idea is to soften their egotistical veneer so that you can get back on track. Usually when it is made clear to someone in the throes of heavying up that they are being unfair or unpleasant, their ego will force them back into a more reasonable frame of mind. You see, no one really wants to be viewed as unfair, rude or egotistical and once they realize that they have been caught, they will revert to a more acceptable mode of communication.


By the way, if you ever find yourself snapping at someone for no apparent good reason, remember this:

Stop taking yourself so seriously and LIGHTEN UP!

 If you can do that every time, your stress level will reduce and you will have a much happier life.


All the Best


Wayne Kehl

"Getting Along With People Is Easy!" (Selfishness)

This is excerpt from my book, "Getting Along With People Is Easy":

EIGHTH COMMANDMENT

DO NOT BE SELFISH

• If you want to get along with people think about someone other than yourself. If you are not getting along with people it is probably largely to do with your own actions and the fact that you are thinking more about yourself than the person you are not getting along with.

 

I once applied for a job as a sales manager with a large, international insurance firm. Part of the application process was a multiple-choice exam to determine the mindsets of the various candidates. I can only recall one question on the exam: “What is the most important characteristic of a great sales manager?” There were ten possible answers and I had to rank them from one to ten in order of importance. I got it wrong. I vaguely recall that the answer I chose as number one had to do with market knowledge and the ability to stay in touch with client needs. The actual best answer was, “The desire to see others do well.” Frankly, I had never observed that selfless trait in any of the sales managers I had known during my career so I did not expect it to be the number one answer.

 

By the way, I did not get the sales manager job, but I have never forgotten that one question and its wonderful answer. If you forget the context of the question and just think about a world where everyone has a constant, daily desire to see others do well, you will understand why I cannot get it out of my mind. I have learned that if I put others before myself, I will quite unavoidably bring positive energy to everything I do.

 

• Throughout this book, we have explored relationships and why people have trouble getting along with each other. If everyone spent more time thinking about the hopes, needs, and feelings of others, everyone would get along all the time. Gone would be argument, strife, and dissention. Gone would be divorce, bullying, and envy. Life would truly be good if people would just stop being selfish.

 

People with no friends have very little desire to see anyone else doing well. They think only about their own existence. People who lose friends usually lose them because they have stopped caring about their needs, choosing to think only of themselves.

 

Wives and husbands who divorce have stopped caring about each other, instead thinking only about their own needs and wants. Oh and by the way, sales managers who put themselves before their sales people tend not to have their support and ultimately fail to produce good results. If it is obvious that their primary desire is to make themselves successful, their sales people will rebel by doing everything they can to prevent it. The same thing will happen in almost any relationship. Selfish thinking never produces positive results.

 

If you think less about yourself and more about others, your life will be much more rewarding, your stress levels will reduce and you will feel far more satisfied with your place in the world.

You can order my book in paper or Kindle versions here: http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Along-People-EASY-Wayne/dp/1438937237/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299526409&sr=1-1

 All the Best

Wayne Kehl



"You Never Miss The Water Until The Well Runs Dry"

This old proverb shines a very bright light on the theory that you never know what you have until it is gone. If everything in your life is going well right now, think about the dynamics around you that help to make it great. If your life is challenging at this moment because you have recently lost someone important from it, ask yourself these questions: 

•  Do I take the people around me for granted?  
•  Do I ever acknowledge the great things the people in my life do every day? 
•  Do I ever thank those around me for helping me get through my days? 
•  Do I choose to notice faults and failures but overlook qualities and successes? 
•  How will my life change if I lose certain people from it? 
•  What can I do to reduce the possibility of the people in my life leaving me behind? 

Whether you are a leader, an employee, a spouse, a parent or a friend, you have a lot of people in your life who create and perpetuate your environment as time moves forward. Your experiences with some of those people are positive, some are negative and some go almost unnoticed. No matter what impression or impact they make, all of them contribute to life’s joys and woes in one way or another. Give serious thought to this question: 

•  Would your life be better or worse if the people you associate with now were suddenly gone? 

I would like to offer this simple advice: Hold the positive influences in your life very close and remove all of the negative ones from your environment. 

If you agree with that try to practice the following relationship techniques for the positive people you cherish:

Let the positive people in your life know that they matter.  

•  Compliment them and tell them how much they mean to you.  
•  Tell them how much you care for them on a personal level.  
•  Always speak positively. There is no room for negativity in good relationships. 
•  Practice open, honest communication at all times. 
•  Help and encourage them unselfishly every chance you get. 

Here are some things you might want to practice with the negative people in your life: 

•  Tell them directly and clearly that you do not appreciate negativity. 
•  Let them know that you do not wish to associate with them socially. 
•  Do not involve yourself in their negative conversations. Walk away! 
• Never condone or agree with their negative appraisals of other people. 
•  Do not retaliate against them. Negativity is not the answer to negativity! 
•  Do not allow yourself to be involved in their negative scheming against others. 

You might turn negative people around with what is commonly known as tough love but if you find that your open, honest communication with them only inflames their negativity even more, or that there is clearly no hope, your best option is to end the relationship and save yourself further stress and aggravation. Do not allow yourself to be dragged into a mire of negativity.

Some of the people you might miss when they are gone include your employees, your supervisors, your managers, your friends, your spouses, other family members and even the people who sell you the things you need and want. Those people need special treatment. They need you to express to them how much value and joy they bring into your life.  

Nothing will end a relationship more decisively or permanently than enduring apathy, indifference or a complete lack of acknowledgement by either party. 

Do not allow your well to run dry. Prime the pump daily with acknowledgement, encouragement and kindness for everyone that matters to you! If you do that, you will always have a great wealth of fabulous people in your life and your environment will forever be positive, progressive, and infinitely pleasurable.

All the Best! 
Wayne Kehl

Do you need a speaker for your event, conference or staff meeting? I can do keynotes, seminars and presentations on a variety of positive, motivational subjects. Get in touch with me at "wkehl@dlionline.ca" so that I can bring my passion to your event.  

The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect is a scientific theory that essentially says that a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere. Originally part of the Chaos Theory, numerous scientists throughout modern history have concluded that this happens even though these systems are deterministic, meaning that their future behavior is fully determined by their initial conditions, with no random elements involved.


In more personal, human terminology, we need to understand that no matter where we are as people today, we arrived at this point as a result of the actions and events that occurred during our lives. Some we are responsible for...some we are not. We are all products of our environment and thus our present and future environment is determined by the how, what, where, when and why we do things and by the things that others people and other environments might do to us. When we choose any particular action, we inadvertently set a series of future events into motion. That is not to say that we have no choice in our destiny, only that everything we have experienced to this point in our lives is responsible for our present condition. “So what?” you might ask.


Do you regret your past? Do you worry about your future? Do you dislike your present situation? You cannot change the past but you can do something about the future. Every time you make a negative statement or do a negative act, you set a chain of events into play that is unstoppable. Negativity is seldom ever forgotten completely by those who witness it. Once you have committed to negativity, be it written, spoken or acted out in a physical way, that negativity will grow and fester, and it will very likely come back to harm you at some time in the future.


Just as negativity can harm you, positivity can help you. Every time you do or say something positive, the constructive value of it will be remembered and it will spread and grow to impact on the environments of others. Ultimately, your positive actions will come back to boost you up in some way and those who were affected positively by them will want to assist you and make your life better. It is a fact that positive energy begets more positive energy and a person who is seen as positive is considered to be of greater value to the human race than someone who is known to be consistently negative.


Whether you are a business leader, an hourly employee, retired or unemployed your actions and your environment got you to where you are today. Once you leave your childhood, family home you are the only person responsible for you. Other than sudden, unexpected events or natural disasters, only your actions and those of the people you choose to associate with will make a difference in your life and your position in the world. Think about that the next time you choose to do something that you know might have negative connotations. Remember it the next time you decide to overlook or condone the negative actions of others. Before you choose to associate with people you know to be of negative character ask yourself if you can avoid or escape from the influence of their negativity. It is up to you to choose which actions you should put into motion in order to create the life you desire.


Don’t regret your past and do not the lament the things you did not do that you might be wishing you had done. It is too late for that. All of the good and bad in your life today came about as a result of the environment you lived in and the things you did in the past. You can change the future by thinking seriously about the things that got you to where you are and then putting different actions into motion from this day forward. The Butterfly Effect can build you up or tear you down. It’s up to you.


All The Best!


Wayne Kehl