Valentine's Day Is For Lovers...Or Is It?

Saint Valentine's Day, commonly known as Valentine's Day, is an annual celebration held on February 14, celebrating love and affection between cherished lovers. The day is named after an early Christian leader and martyr named Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Galasius I in 496 AD. Now, it is traditionally a day on which devoted partners express their love for each other. However, in stark contrast, the original St. Valentine is remembered for having been executed for his Christian beliefs and his refusal to convert to Roman Paganism.

Valentine’s Day first became associated with romance during the days of the great poet, Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300’s. In 1382, Chaucer wrote in his poem Parlement of Foules or Parliament of Birds, "For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.” That poem actually had more to do with Mother Nature and the mating habits of birds than with human love. Despite that, it managed to find its way into western culture and to this day it provides an opportunity for women and men to express profound love for their mates.

Many human beings in this century need a special day to declare their love for each other.

Valentine’s Day functions as a reminder to everyone that explicit expressions of romantic love are important for the maintenance of healthy relationships. It doesn’t stop at pure, innocent love though. Candy stores, jewellery merchants, flower shops, restaurants and “Hallmark” cards all rake in huge amounts of much needed revenue on that special day. In fact many of them rely on Valentine’s Day sales for financial survival.

Lovers in the twenty first century cannot simply satisfy each other with kind words, cuddles, kisses and lovemaking as they might have in the 1300’s. Instead they feel a need to spend some money in order to prove their love and devotion to each other. It seems that our modern world has replaced natural, wholesome relationships where love is based on simple caring and sharing with relationships where love is measured by the amount of currency expended on it. That may sound somewhat cynical, but if given the choice between a kiss on the lips, a box of chocolates, or an exotic vacation as a Valentine’s gift, which would the average North American prefer? Which would they be more impressed by and which would they be more likely to remember in years to come? I think the answer is obvious.

It would be nice to think that when lovers sacrifice their cash for their mates, they are emulating St. Valentine who sacrificed his life for his religion.

Sadly that is probably not the case. We live in a world where the value of money has taken on such epic importance that it has become synonymous with, and inseparable from expressions of generosity, charity, kindness, and yes...love itself.

This Valentine’s Day why not break out of the mold?

Now that we know that St. Valentine died not for his lover, but for his religion, let’s do something more meaningful than buying candy, jewellery or trips.

Why not spend the night at home just cuddling and kissing and give the money you save to a worthy charity?  That way we can show our love for mankind, and uphold some of the principles that St. Valentine died for. After all, there are a lot of people in the world who need help and there are worse things than cuddling and kissing the one you love.

Valentine’s Day really is for lovers!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

GENERATION "Y" IS GETTING A BUM RAP!

I am a man in his fifties who spent the majority of his career as a manager of people. During that time I have managed Boomers, Generation “X”, Generation “Y” and even a few Traditionals. (Traditionals are people now in their late sixties to early nineties). Of all the age or generation groups I had the privilege to manage I accomplished greater things and had more pure enjoyment with Generation “Y” than any of the others.

Generation “Y” are now people in their late teens to early thirties. They are the young, vibrant people you see on the street; they are the fashion models you see on the runways and the scholars you see strolling about the campuses of the best Universities: They are the people who will soon control most of the world’s finances and create most of the world’s future inventions and innovations. In short, the next wave of professors, power-brokers and storekeepers will all be Generation “Y”... They will soon rule the world!

WHO IS TO BLAME?

Generation “Y” is often characterized by employers, co-workers and business writers as being spoiled, lazy, rude, irresponsible, and flippant. Many older people seem to think that they have no ambition and no desire to do good work. The Boomers and Generation “X” parents who nurtured, educated and moulded the minds of Generation “Y” children now seem to feel that their progeny will be almost useless in the world of business and industry. We are products of our environment and if Generation “Y” is a deficient generation their parents have no one to blame but themselves.

WE DIDN'T HAVE IT SO GOOD!

In fairness to Boomer and Generation “X” parents; they were only trying to be the best maternal and paternal influences they could be. They wanted to provide their kids with everything they were deprived of as children because of the shortage of discretionary income that their Traditional parents had during the fifties and sixties. As the western world grew generally wealthier and every garage had at least one and half cars in it, the material possessions of children became more elaborate and more expensive. Children began to understand that almost anything was attainable and all they had to do was ask for a new toy and it magically appeared. On the other hand, as children in the fifties, most of us had to play with broken and dirty toys that had been handed down from older siblings.

YOU GAVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANTED!

Most Generation “Y” kids have the best of everything and wear jeans and shoes with famous labels on them, the cost of which I still have trouble believing. I have known parents who purchased brand new cars for their children on the day they qualified for a driver’s licence. I have even known parents who took out loans or mortgaged their houses so that their kids could drive nice automobiles! I have seen numerous children taken out of school by their parents during an important semester for exotic vacations or less important things like family reunions and out-of-town weddings.

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING OUR KIDS IN SCHOOL?

The evolution of the school system has not helped Generation “Y” fit into our old-fashioned view of work ethics and diligence either. Schools have gone from honouring excellence and holding back failure, to treating everyone the same regardless of scholarly ability or relative achievement levels. Sports days went from recognizing higher athletic ability with ribbons for only the top three kids in any event, to giving a ribbon to every child that shows up. Children are now advanced to the next grade even if they have not actually done the work and passed the necessary examinations in order to earn a pass. Apparently it is unfair to hold them back and much better to move them into a grade they are not prepared for...I don’t get it!

Kids are now taught that all anyone can ask a person to do is their best...even if their best is not good enough to get the job done. If they fail at anything they are told that that as long as they did their best everything is okay. Imagine an engineer who fails to put enough steel or concrete into a design for a skyscraper. When the building falls down, he will have difficulty convincing anyone that his best was good enough. It seems that educators and parents have not prepared Generation “Y” for life in the real world as we know it.

NO WONDER GENERATION “Y” SEEMS SPOILED!

No wonder they are demanding and rude (by our standards); no wonder they want to start at the top of the pay scale; and no wonder they want time off from work whenever they feel they need it. No one has ever said NO to them and no one ever told them that they were not very good at everything they tried. They have amazingly high expectations because we told them to expect to get everything they ask for. Remember too, that their parents and teachers taught them never to settle for second best and to always stand up for their rights. They are products of their environment and they are everything they should be, considering the world they grew up in.

I AM OPTIMISTIC!

Most of the Generation “Y” people that worked for me had the kind of upbringing that I have described here. Despite that, when I took the time to understand what they wanted and how they wanted to go about doing their work, I found them as capable as any Boomer or Generation “X” worker. When they are doing a job they enjoy and are allowed the freedom to do it in the manner that makes them most comfortable, their work ethics and intellect are as strong as anyone else’s. As in every generation, there are exceptions (good and bad) but as an overall group I love the enthusiasm and initiative that Generation “Y” is able to bring to the workplace.

I can accept that working with Generation “Y” might require a little more patience for older managers and co-workers, but I believe the results will make the effort worthwhile. When Generation “Y” people are at their best, they are unstoppable. It is up to the managers and leaders of the world to draw the best out of them and give them the freedom to fly.

GENERATION “Y” KIDS JUST WANTS TO SHOW YOU HOW GREAT THEY REALLY ARE!

Always keep in mind that we made our children into the Generation “Y” they are and we nurtured every positive and negative element of their personalities. Since we are responsible for them, let’s give them a break and help them realize their true potential as they become the guardians of our legacy.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Getting Along With People Is EASY!

Have a look at this video about Getting Along With People Is EASY! and then order the book...

 

Have you ever had trouble getting along with someone? Don’t Despair...Everyone has!

Getting along with people is easy is the book you have been waiting for.  In it, you will find the reasons that people have trouble getting along with each other and great ways to avoid bad relationships.

As a bonus, you will find ways to fix almost every relationship issue you might ever encounter.

Learn how to get along with rude people, sarcastic people, moody people, conceited people, prejudiced people, husbands, wives, co-workers and even, bosses.

On these pages you will find wit, wisdom and common sense for everyone who associates with other human beings.

Allow every person you meet to become a positive force in your life and you will find that getting along with people is easy.

This book is a great read. Learn how to get along with people and have fun doing it.

Order Getting Along with people is easy directly from me at www.dlionline.ca, or from www.amazon.com,  www.barnesandnoble.com, and most other online book sellers.

I am Wayne Kehl

Thank You!

Are You Living An Authentic Life?

There is nothing sadder than the death of someone who has never lived!

Here is a quote from the late rocker, Jimi Hendrix: “I’m the one who’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”

This quote speaks to me of the human need to go along or succumb to the pressures of the groups we find ourselves being members of. In life, we tend to do what our leaders tell us to do whether or not we agree and whether or not they may be contrary to our own desires. We wear fashionable clothing that we don’t like, we work at jobs we do not enjoy, we are polite when we would rather be outspoken, and we often do whatever we are told without thought.

As Jimi said, we must accept that our leaders, mentors and critics will not be there to tell us how to live our deaths even though they constantly told us how to live our lives.

I admire people who are authentic and true to themselves; the people who do what THEY want to do despite criticism from others. As long as their actions and thoughts are positive they harm no one.

For me, success is the happiness and satisfaction that comes from doing the things that we truly want to do. After all, there is nothing sadder than the death of a person who has never lived!

I am Wayne Kehl from Dynamic Leadership

Stop Being Selfish! Find Happiness and True Success...

Selfishness Prevents Success!

If you want to get along with more people start thinking about someone other than yourself. If you have problems with relationships it is probably largely to do with your own actions and the fact that you are thinking more about yourself than the people you don’t get along with.

I once applied for a job as a sales manager with a large, international insurance firm. Part of the application process was a multiple-choice exam to determine the mindsets of the various candidates. I can only recall one question on the exam: “What is the most important characteristic of a great sales manager?” There were ten possible answers and I had to rank them from one to ten in order of importance. The number one answer was this: “The desire to see others do well.”

Frankly, I did not expect it to top the list but I have never forgotten that one question and its wonderful answer. Just think about a world where everyone has a constant, daily desire to see others do well. I now know that if I put others before myself, I will quite unavoidably bring positive energy to everything I do.

Stop being selfish and put an end to negativity, stress, and sadness in your life.

I am Wayne Kehl from Dynamic Leadership

How to Lead Generation "Y"

The members of the demographic, commonly known as Generation “Y” were born between the years 1981 and 1994, which makes them ages 17 to 30 in year 2011. They are the young up-and-coming leaders of society. There are a lot of them, and since they will soon fill most of the jobs being given up by the aging Boomers, we need to modify our methodology in order to lead them.

Generation “Y” are a new breed of people with a new way of looking at the world. They have been influenced by their parents, the education system, the media and each other. They operate with an attitude of entitlement and they prefer communication via hand-held device over the spoken word.

~What follows are a few ideas that will help make your workplace the employer-of -choice for Generation “Y”...

TECHNOLOGY:

The first Personal Computer was introduced to North America in 1981...the same year the first Generation “Y” baby was born. Hence, unlike the Boomers and Generation “X”, these kids have never seen a world without computers. They have seen rapid advances in computerization which eliminated the bulky, beige boxes of the PC and turned them into I-Phones, Blackberries and Androids. Facebook, Google, and Twitter rule the world of Generation “Y” and there is no sign of anything but more growth in that social phenomenon in the future.

~Generation “Y” needs computers, hand-held devices, email, texting and YouTube in their lives.

~They want media-rich information and communication in order to remain engaged.

~Adjust your thinking to allow for their different ways of working.

~Let them use the style of communication they prefer .

~Give them the most modern equipment and software you can afford.

PERSONAL TIME:

When you hire a Generation “Y” person expect them to want a lot of time off.  All their lives, they were heavily doted on by their hovering, “helicopter”, parents and they take their family-time very seriously. They were taught that they are special and they believe that they are entitled to fair treatment. Their concept of fair treatment might be much more liberal than their older bosses, so without greater flexibility, conflicts are bound to arise.

~Structure your business to allow for flexible schedules and more innovative time commitments. 

~Generation “Y” values time off over money so come up with a cost-effective flex-time or job-sharing plan that is affordable for you and attractive to them.

RELAXED CLOTHING STANDARDS:

Generation “Y” does not want to dress up in any formalized uniform or business attire. They want a relaxed, comfortable style of dress that makes them feel good. Forget about business suits, frilly blouses, neck ties, and dress shoes. Expect loose fitting, sloppy shirts and pants along with casual shoes, low-cut, revealing tops and tight, mid-riff-baring jeans.

~A decade or so ago, the business world adopted casual day which has given way to casual week and casual-all-the-time. It is a freight train that does not want to stop.

~Have a minimal number of restrictions on clothing styles if you want to keep your Generation “Y” people happy and productive.

SOCIAL VALUES:

When you hire a Generation “Y” person, you must appeal to their social values. Their parents taught them that good people give of their time and money for charities and philanthropy. They will expect their employer to support social causes and they will expect time off to involve themselves in the betterment of their communities.

~Ask your Generation “Y’s” what they expect your company to do for the community and for charities and then put them in charge . Let them take it over and run with it.

~They will rally to the cause if they feel a sense of ownership of the plan.

~Ultimately, they will become more loyal and you will become the employer-of-choice.

~The positive notoriety brought by their activities will improve your bottom line.

OPEN, HONEST COMMUNICATION:

Thanks to the ubiquitous modern media, young people have been exposed to many tales of high level lying, cheating, larceny, bad business and crime that would not have been made available in prior decades. They watched the Enron scandal unfold, Tiger Woods fall from grace, The BP oil spill disaster, The United States bank collapse, the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal, and the onset of global warming. They watch almost every day as the adults that run the world do every dirty, underhanded, nasty thing that only the worst human beings could conjure up. They think adults are lying to them all the time and they don’t trust them. Without trust, personal or business relationships of any kind cannot survive!

~A more open, informative management style will hold you in good stead with Generation “Y”.

~Give your young people all the statistical and strategic information you can about your business.

~Keep them informed and be honest about your fears, your failures and your successes.

~Never make promises you cannot or will not keep.

~Most importantly, never lie to them or withhold the truth.

~They want open, honest communication and if they don’t get it, they might resign or quit emotionally and stay around to make your life a living hell!

ADVANCEMENT AND VARIETY ON THE JOB:

Because of the huge volume of information Generation “Y” is subjected to moment-by-moment on the internet and television, their minds are flooded with a myriad of ideas and opportunities. They believe they can do anything because their parents and teachers told them so. They do not want to be slotted into boring jobs with a minimal number of activities or little chance for advancement. They want variety and an opportunity to show the world what they can do.

~Try to match the natural talents of the individual to the job they do.

~Put the right people in the right jobs.

~Do skills and talent assessments in order to determine the best job for each individual.

~Throw out or amend job descriptions and allow more job-flexibility for each employee.

~Regularly ask each employee how they feel about their job.

~Give them a career path and follow it.

YOUR CUSTOMERS ARE  GENERATION “Y”:

Remember that the majority of your customers will also be Generation “Y” very soon, so do not make the assumption that the people who buy your products or services will continue to expect the same type of service and decorum you have in place today.

~The world is changing so if you want to be the best in your field, try to change with it now.

~If you work with them and accept them as they are, Generation “Y” will carry you to a new level of success.

Generation “Y” is coming to a job near you soon. You can resist their new style of working or you can use their new ways to work for you and increase revenues. It is your choice! 

All the Best

Wayne Kehl 

10 Things Great Leaders Do

Click on this link to find out the top 10 things great leaders do:

http://www.ilstv.com/ten-things-great-leaders-do/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=DailyNewsletter

Ego and Success

Winners, losers and survivors exist all around us. The world is full of people who become famous through excellent results alongside those who gain notoriety because of poor performance. Interestingly, mediocrity is much more common than success or failure in most areas of human endeavour. Most people get by, but seldom excel despite the fact that almost everyone is good at something. The majority of people on the planet never have the opportunity to soar because they never have the opportunity to utilize the natural talents they are born with.

Many of us never even experience the joy of discovering the true

genius that lies dormant, deep within us all.

While many of us labour unrewardingly outside of our true calling, others are able to advance in areas where they have little or no natural talent at all. The most ineffective or even dangerous people on earth are those who have a strong belief that they excel at something where they have no particular talent and yet have managed to advance. We often see these people in senior positions. Sometimes they are arrogant, egotistical bullies who strut around the office or the factory floor barking out orders and bragging about their adventures. Some are quiet and reserved, but bristle with superiority at or just below the surface.  No matter how they present themselves, they usually make poor business decisions and specialize in poor hiring choices.  These are the people who talk down to others and are critical just for the sake of being right.

Often because a business is unique, has a strong customer following or a history of success, these people manage to advance and move up the ladder despite themselves and despite the harm they do to those they are able to impact along the way. Some are highly educated while others are only experts in bravado. They know how to manipulate the decision makers above them and they fly under the radar on their way to the top. Eventually, they will reach the level of their own incompetence...the place where they can no longer fool even the most detached executives...but at that point, the damage will have already been done and they will probably be rewarded for their poor performance with a gold watch and a healthy retirement package.

We have all known people like this!

As I ruminate on this phenomenon it occurs to me that the one talent these people have is the talent for exercising their own ego. While most of us conceal our ego and exercise our humility as our parents taught us, the egomaniacs of the world take on almost anything that comes their way with a resolute belief that they will succeed. Their success is based on an unyielding belief in themselves. They have such a well defined sense of self direction that they are incapable of acknowledging any suggestion that they might be on an incorrect path. They believe they are winners and they dismiss any thoughts of failure. A German propaganda minister in Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Government, Joseph Goebbels said this:

 “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.”

Unfortunately, I have observed in business that many people have adopted the philosophy of Goebbels, perhaps without even knowing it. They lie to the people around them and they lie to themselves. For them, lying is not even wrong or immoral...it is instead, a matter of business survival. They tell themselves they are great and then make sure everyone in their sphere of influence knows it. Through deception, they manage to succeed. Ultimately the deception becomes truth as the intimidation of their bravado and growing success moves them closer to the top of the hierarchy. Ultimately, they leave behind a legacy of negativity despite any financial success their organizations might attain.

Despite the success that ego can bring, the true leaders in society

 are those who are honest, ethical, humble people with genuine

talent.

My preference is to follow leaders who lead with talent, empathy, skill, and humility. I will follow someone who has something valuable to say rather than someone who simply wants to say something. I will follow a leader who puts the needs of his team and his company first and second, with his own coming in a distant third. I will follow a leader whose ego is limited to ambition for, and belief in her team. I want to follow a leader who is primarily proud of her team and the fact that she is fortunate enough to lead them. I will follow a leader who always tells the truth.  I will follow a leader!

Leading is difficult but when done right, it creates a wonderful

 legacy. Here is a short list of things all great leaders take with

 them to the top:

·         Utilization of natural talents

·         Ego directed only at team results

·         Self-awareness and the courage to change

·         Humility

·         Honesty

With just those few elements a leader can put himself or herself on a level above the pack. Those leaders can create high-performing teams and leave a legacy of greatness that will live on long after they have departed.

Ego will invariably be an element of success, but it should not be

 the only factor!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Are You A Servant Leader Or A Leadership Warrior?

I have called upon the leaders of the world to start a LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION. In order to make my dream become a reality, we need to employ some proactive, aggressive action right away.

One of the most common terms used for good leadership these days is SERVANT LEADERSHIP. Although I am a proponent of that concept and completely accept that servant leadership is wonderful methodology, I am afraid that it may be lulling a lot of the world’s leaders into a reactive, rather than proactive state. Some leaders use the term SERVANT LEADERSHIP as a reason to reduce the amount of genuine leadership activities they perform. They allow their followers to take the lead and they shy away from assertive, hands-on leadership work. They serve but they do not lead.

"SERVANT LEADERSHIP is not about serving...it is about leading! Always remember that leaders must perform in outstanding ways in order to set the example for everyone watching."

If you want to bring your organization to higher level of performance, you need to start a LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION and become a LEADERSHIP WARRIOR right away. If there are any areas of your organization that are not performing to your preferred benchmark, you need to change your approach to leadership so that you can start building a brighter future. You need to start fighting for your right to be a great leader and build a leadership movement that will have your followers rallying around you.

We all know that one rotten apple can spoil the entire barrel.  If there is one person or one department in your organization that is operating in less than stellar fashion you need to go to them and boldly state that you have started a LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION and that you want unanimous support. Let them know that the personnel carrier you are driving into battle has room for everyone but it cannot afford any roadblocks or detours on the road to success.

"TAKE CHARGE...BE BOLD...BE A LEADERSHIP WARRIOR!"

As you travel across the battlefield of your LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION you will find casualties. In fact, you might even have to create some casualties in order to achieve the level of performance you require. Make no mistake though...the survivors will carry you forward and they will bring new recruits to fill the gaps left by those who fell along the way. And, don’t stop at leading the people you have now! You want to be known as the leader that virtually everyone wants to follow.

"YOU WANT TO BECOME THE EMPLOYER OF CHOICE...AND THE LEADER OF CHOICE!"

-As you are reading this, ask yourself the following question: “Is my organization the EMPLOYER OF CHOICE in its field?”

-And then ask yourself this: “Am I the BEST LEADER there is in my field?”

If you were forced to honestly answer NO to either of those questions, you have some work to do and you are probably not a LEADERSHIP WARRIOR yet! You might be a nice person and you might even be a servant leader but you are not a warrior and your revolution has probably not begun. Instead, you are just getting by...you are in survival mode!

 The danger in just getting by or simple survival is that your workers are watching you and they might decide to start their own revolution to overthrow you in your weakened state. In that event, even if your organization survives the battle, you might not. The other imminent threat is of course, that your competitors or your enemies are always looking for cracks in your armour that will allow them to do grievous harm to you and your followers.  Keep your armour clean and your weapons sharp by always leading with integrity!

Once you become a LEADERSHIP WARRIOR, your army will grow from within and you will be overrun with new recruits. You will be moving toward a reputation as a passionate, charismatic leader that the world will follow. Think about some of the great leaders of history...General Douglas MacArthur, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Jesus Christ, Mahatma Ghandi, Colin Powell. Every one of them was a warrior for their cause...and every one of them served their people boldly with no concern for themselves.

"SERVANT LEADER OR LEADERSHIP WARRIOR?"

These terms are not mutually exclusive. The best leaders are servant leaders who fight for their cause. They are best of the best and they never rest until their revolution is won.

"MY LEADERSHIP REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!"

"WHO WILL JOIN ME?"

I look forward to seeing you on the battlefield!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Listen, Don't Talk

Watch a short video about speaking well, here:

http://www.ilstv.com/listen-dont-talk/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=DailyNewsletter

Who Needs Wisdom?

This is my favourite definition of wisdom:

“good sense; the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience"

Note that good sense requires personal knowledge and experience in order to be effective. Wisdom cannot grow and flourish in isolation. When one operates with poor or potentially harmful personal knowledge or under the influence of a wealth of negative or destructive prior experience, the concept of good sense generally goes right out the window.

This explains why the great leaders of the world and those we hold in high regard are almost always people who have lived positive, ethical lives. We admire them because they bask in positive light. Conversely, imagine how damaging it is for the careers of celebrities, politicians and business leaders who disregard the good wisdom they have learned over a lifetime, while performing in negative or unethical ways. They seemed not to understand that not only must wisdom be learned over time...it must be utilized for a lifetime!

We have all borne witness to the widely publicized indiscretions of a beloved golfer, a famous actor and a respected Governor that have graced the covers of tabloids and news media over the past few months.

Had the golfer, the actor or the Governor utilized the good sense and accumulated wisdom that they had at their disposal, they would not be in the respective predicaments they find themselves in now.

The three I mention are not the only people who have committed indiscretions or done something horrifically wrong that they lived to regret later. The world is full of people who from time to time, refuse to listen to the good sense that most human beings have in their minds and hearts and instead listen to the dark side of their souls where evil lurks and common sense is unwelcome. In fact, all human beings are prone to having occasional wisdom-defying thoughts. We all think negative things about other people and we all consider doing or saying inappropriate things from time to time.

None of us is free from an occasional bout of overt imprudence or internalized unkindness.

Right now, as you read this, there is someone in your life that you hold in high regard; someone you admire; someone you envy, and someone you love. Each one of those people could become someone who disappoints you, someone who disgusts you, or someone you are embarrassed by in the blink of an eye. The second they drop their guard, forget about the wisdom they know they should uphold, and perform an indiscretion, you will have the culturally acceptable right to turn your back on them. Because they have not used their common sense or acted sensibly you will probably feel the need to shun them and of course if the indiscretion is sensational enough, the media will have a salacious field day with their lives despite all the good they might have done prior to defying wisdom.

Who needs wisdom? We all do!

We all need to think about what is right and what is wrong as we make our way through life. When we decide to push our values or the values of society out of our lives, we open ourselves up to rejection, ridicule, desperation and despair.

No matter what your position in life, how you present yourself to the world and how others see you will have a deeply profound influence on the quality of your life. Think about this each time one of those very human, wisdom-defying thoughts enters your mind. Think about the other people in your lives and think about yourself...think about how much better your life will be if you simply do what you know is right!

Oh, and try to practice forgiveness when someone in your life defies his or her own wisdom. Accept that they are human and they are part of the majority of people on earth who make mistakes from time to time. Don’t dwell on the indiscretion and don’t drag out rejection and ridicule for long periods of time. Those folks feel bad enough already and they don’t need your criticism to add insult to their injury and embarrassment.

As the old adage goes: To err is human-To forgive divine!

I wish everyone a life of wisdom and good sense with only inconsequential indiscretions and a large measure of forgiveness. If you utilize your unique wisdom at all times, you will be assured a life of happiness, respect and love.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Are You Truly Kind?

Find out how kind you are here:

http://www.ilstv.com/are-you-truly-kind/

You are not who you think you are!

We all wake up each morning with a personal vision of ourselves. We look in the mirror and see ourselves staring back, with bleary eyes and messy hair. When we see the way we look, we immediately set about improving our appearance. We shower, shave, wash, comb our hair, put on makeup if we are women, and make ourselves smell good. Before we leave the house we put on some appropriate clothing and head out to face the day. Because we have done all the right things for our physical being, we believe all is well with the world...

 

But what about our emotional and psychological beings?

We all have a personal vision of how we present ourselves to others. We think we are forceful, bashful, aggressive or nice. We see ourselves as smarter than some but not as bright as others. We think we are just a little bit better at our jobs than the guy in the next office but not nearly as innovative as Bill Gates or the guy who invented those handy little sticky notes. We like ourselves or we hate ourselves...or somewhere in between. We think we are highly regarded by all or wonder why we never seem to get respect from anybody. We laugh when we are hurt and we smile when we are insulted. At the end of each day, many of us have not accomplished everything we wanted to and most of us cannot understand why everyone didn’t agree with everything we said.

We all know what we look like, but most of us really don’t know how other people see us.

Only those closest to us will tell us what they really think of us but because they are close to us, they will generally only say nice things, slathered with big gobs of positive bias. Hopefully, they really care for us and are happy to overlook our shortcomings. Everyone else on earth is thinking that we are this way or that. They might think we are pushy, obnoxious, stupid or silly. They might respect what we have done but they might not like us at all for who we are. We can’t understand why some people are more popular than us even when it is clear that we are smarter or funnier than them. We trick ourselves into thinking we are popular with lots of fans, when deep in our hearts we know we really are not.

For the most part, our own personal vision of ourselves is carved in stone and nothing on earth can be said or done to change our minds about who we are.

Most of us have built a vision of ourselves that is based on who we want to be...not who we really are or even, who we are capable of being. We create our personal vision in our minds and try valiantly to live up to it. Often when we fail to live up to who we want to be we soldier on anyway, telling ourselves that we are as great as we thought we were. We find fault with the system, a product, other people, the company, the Government or whatever external thing is closest to the situation that made us fail. We are never wrong! Our vision of ourselves must not be tampered with at any cost and we will fight anyone who tries to tell us otherwise!

Unfortunately, if the results we are getting do not match up with the way we feel about ourselves, there is a hole as wide and deep as the Grand Canyon in the way we view ourselves.

If we are not willing to accept that there might be something wrong with the way we present ourselves and that we might need to change, we will be doomed to a life of frustration and disappointment. If people look the other way when we come towards them, refuse to make eye contact when talking to us, disagree with us regularly, don’t invite us to events we think we should be at or don’t return our phone messages, there might be a problem. Now is the time to face up to it and deal with it!

It is possible that your vision is flawed and you need to look into the mirror again. This time look into your soul and tell yourself the truth about who you really are!

Get a coach.

The road to true happiness is paved with self-awareness! The best way to find it is to talk to a coach. The coach can be anyone you trust to listen to you intently and tell you the truth about who you really are, without reservation. Listen to her, discuss what changes you might make to improve the way you present yourself and most importantly, trust your coach. Never aggressively challenge him and never suggest that he doesn’t know what he is talking about. All you will do is drive her away or eliminate the value of her counsel. If you give your coach the permission to be honest with you, and choose to work on the things he or she recommends, your life will improve immeasurably.

Take an assessment.

There are a lot of computerized assessments on the market that will tell you clearly and concisely what motivates you, what sort of behaviour you are likely to exhibit in any given situation, how you feel about yourself. They will also tell you how you fit into your environment. These reports are dead-accurate and I recommend them highly. Contact me for more information on where to find the best ones.

 

Look in the mirror! There might just be a greater person looking back than you ever imagined!

 

All the Best

Wayne Kehl