Father's Day Reflections

Another Father’s Day has come and gone and for some it was a grand time filled with celebration and excitement while for others it went by almost unnoticed.

No matter how you spent the day, I hope you thought deeply about your relationship with your father. If you are an adult, living away from your father’s home, your relationship will have changed somewhat from the days when you resided under the same roof. You might not be able to experience the physical closeness that you once had with your Dad, but you can always remember his lessons and his love.

It is important for us all to remember what we learned from our Dad’s because no matter how much we might have disagreed with it at the time, deep within everything they said there was a grain of wisdom and truth, wrapped up in loving intentions. Our Dad’s tried to send us on a path...regardless of whether or not it was a path we wanted to follow doesn’t matter now. What matters is that in our Dad’s mind, he wanted us to do well. No matter how harsh, how mild, how emphatic or how ordinary his words or his actions might have seemed at the time, it was his intention to help us to a better, brighter future.

Some of you have lost your Father and that is sad because you will never be able to tangibly experience his lessons or his love again. Some of you have simply lost touch with your Father because of logistics or disagreements. If your father is still alive and you have not spoken with him for some time, I encourage you to remember the good times with your Dad and think about visiting him or at least picking up the phone. Don’t wait for him to call you...Father’s often tend to want their children to fly-on-their- own once they have left the nest. They sometimes fear that they might interfere in the natural flow of life that their offspring enjoy. Sometimes they simply fear rejection from the one they love the most! Forgive them, for they are trapped within their own belief system!

The relationship between a Father and his Son or Daughter is special. It is the Father’s role to protect his progeny from harm and make certain that life treats them fairly. Most men are born with a natural propensity for paternity. We understand from an early age that although we cannot give birth, we must be the ones who make the lives or our children wonderful; filled with fun, happiness, and security. Most of us Dad’s will go through life, thinking about our children and wondering if at any moment in time, they are out of harm’s way. We will drop whatever we are doing and race to the aid of our kids if we sense that they are in trouble or if danger is lurking. A father’s life is not complete until he is confident that his children are going to always be safe and secure. A father is an instinctive defender of his children and most of us take that role very seriously. Sometimes we might seem overly protective...but we can’t help it!

Most importantly, Father’s love their children. Often, because of familial or cultural conditioning, men do a poor job of expressing their love. They hold back and do the manly thing of being strong, curt, and even critical. The most uncommunicative fathers frequently wish they could be more expressive...that they could be more like mothers who kiss the tears away from their children’s eyes while consoling them and telling them that everything will be okay.

For some Father’s protection means being tough...it means teaching kids that the world is a harsh place and that children must learn to be strong in order to survive. For some kid’s it seems that nothing they do is ever good enough for their Dad. In reality, everything difficult thing they do to try in order to meet Dad’s standards or to please Dad is exactly what he wants. He wants to see them TRY and he wants to see them put in a good deal of effort. Even if perfection is not achieved, regardless of whether he cheers, nit-picks, or criticizes, a Dad only wants to see his children do well. His paternal instinct tells him that he must be involved and he must always impart lessons to his kids so that they can succeed in all they do.

Next year on Father’s Day, I hope you think deeply about your Dad and all of the good he brought into your life. Forget about the bad things! The past is in the past and can never be repeated. However, if you remember the good lessons and how they shaped your present, the future will seem oh, so much brighter.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

UNDERSTANDING DISC #4, Communicating with the DISC styles

In previous issues of “Understanding DISC” we have gone into some depth on the subject of the fundamental DISC styles. You can find the past issues here:

 http://motivationalkehl.blogspot.ca/

In this issue, we will discuss the best ways to communicate with each of the styles.

Here is a brief and simplified recap of the basic DISC styles:

DOMINANT: This can be identified by forceful, confident, competitive behaviour.

INFLUENCING: This can be identified by cheerful, optimistic, trusting, outgoing behaviour.

STEADY: This can be identified by sociable, thoughtful, non-emotional behaviour.

COMPLIANT: This can be identified by organized, tidy, conscientious behaviour.

When communicating with a DOMINANT person you must accept that for them, winning is very important.

When a dominant person begins to show signs of becoming adamant during a discussion, (as they often will) it is often best to simply allow them to carry on until they have finished making their point. If you try to interrupt them, or cut them short, you will only inflame their dominance and either start an argument or cause them to talk longer in order to reinforce their perspective. In some cases it is even best to concede to their point of view or at least agree that they have made a good point, until such time as you are able to approach the subject from a different tack. In all cases, you should attempt to appeal to their ego and their need for success. Letting them win one argument might allow you the opportunity to win one yourself at a later time. However, vehement or over-zealous disagreement while a dominant person is speaking will usually end in a negative result. Depending on how strongly they are influenced by the other elements of their DISC style, it might even harm or destroy your relationship completely. Although High “D’s” tend to try to control conversations and win every argument, just like other people most of them enjoy helping others to accomplish their goals. Being part of another person’s success is after all a type of winning and that will appeal to their natural ego-driven personas. If you allow them the opportunity to help you and then praise them for it, you might just make a friend for life.

When communicating with a highly INFLUENCING person you should expect them to talk a lot and attempt humour at every opportunity.

People with a strong influential style are highly expressive and they love people. They are perhaps, the easiest style to get along with. However, if you are a highly compliant person, you will soon tire of their lack of attention to detail, and if you are a highly steady person, you might be put off by the speed at which they make decisions. Dominant people will usually have no problem controlling them but highly Influential people are usually fine with that. If you want to appeal to a highly Influential person, laugh at their jokes and give them a pat on the back often. Highly Influential people have a need to be appreciated and they like flashy possessions that bring attention to themselves. Expect them to be the life of the party and depending upon how much influence the other elements of their DISC style have upon them, you might also expect them to be silly or politically incorrect from time to time. High “I’s” like to have fun so if you join in with their light hearted banter, you can easily become an immediate ally and fast friend.

When communicating with a high STEADY you must remember that they are addicted to security and tend to want a lot of information before making decisions.

High Steady’s want assurance that any decision they make is the right one before they act on it. They are committed to their families and they strive to provide safety and security for them. They prefer not to make a significant decision unless their family or trusted friends are aware of the details and buy into it. They generally want the world to slow down, so do not push them too hard to make a decision or force them to create speedy results. Give them time to go away and think about it before formulating a response. The expression, “slow and steady wins the race” was probably written by a high steady personality. High Steady’s tend to be private people and are not likely to want to tell you about their innermost fears or challenges until they believe the time is right so do not pry and do push them to speak before they are ready.  High “S’s” prefer not to show their emotions publicly, so do not expect them to become excited or happy when you tell them something that might be extremely impressive to other people. If they tell you calmly and emotionlessly that they are happy or excited, accept it for what it is but do not expect smiles, laughter or tears. If you want to make a friend of a High “S”, give them their space and allow them to communicate with you at their own pace.

When attempting to communicate with a high COMPLIANT always consider that they are much more detail oriented than the other styles.

High Compliant people like rules and regulations for work and life. However, once they are confident that they are on the right path, they are highly conscientious and will act very quickly to get the job done. Because they like a lot of detail, when you speak to them, bring a lot of well-organized information and some proof that what you are saying is valid. Do not try to get a High “C” to change his mind unless you can prove that you are right. Many great accountants are highly Compliant as are a lot of pilots, engineers, musicians, and mechanics. In each of these cases, a very stringent set of rules and procedures must be employed in order to get the job done. The fact that following those procedures almost guarantees a good result appeals greatly to High “C’s”. In conversations, you can often hold their attention with spreadsheets, statistics and complex explanations. If you want to make a friend of High “C”, be prepared to dazzle them with detail and answer a lot of questions.

This article is based on the work of William Moulton Marston. Find out more in my book, “Getting Along With People Is Easy!” available at Amazon.com or from the Dynamic Leadership website:

 https://www.dlionline.ca/courses.php?category=Books

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

What Makes A Great Sales Organization?

During the course of my life, I have been a student, an observer and a practitioner of the fine art of making sales.

I have been successful, unsuccessful, frustrated and elated while attempting to create fabulous sales numbers for my companies. Although I do not have all of the answers to sales success, I have learned a few lessons along the way which I will share with you now.

The last company I worked for before starting my current consulting business was an international insurance firm with a large number of offices all over North America. I was the Vice President of Operations in my region and I was partnered with a Vice President of sales. We were responsible for approximately 160 employees in a dozen offices. We worked very well together because we accepted that both of us carried ominous responsibility for the success of our region and that if we did not work as team, we would surely fail.

Lesson number one: Accountability

The first thing we learned was that success requires hard work from everyone involved.

Whenever we lost focus and let up or reduced our drive for more sales our numbers would start to slide and our profitability would begin to wane. It was up to us as leaders to drive the bus and when we lost energy, the entire vehicle lost momentum.

We also learned that our sales-people responded best when we showed a great deal of interest in them, reminding them regularly that it was their responsibility to make a budgeted number of sales. We had to make it clear that just as we were accountable to our executive and shareholders, they were responsible to us and their co-workers to drive the company forward.

When we asked them for buy-in and helped them along the way they bought in but when we focussed on something other than sales effort, they took our lack of acknowledgement as a sign that the pressure was off and not surprisingly, sales dropped off. Holding sales people personally responsible for their sales effort is one of the most important elements of a successful sales organization.

Lesson number two: Support

One of the single most common reasons why people struggle to make sales budgets is a lack of personalized support.

In order to make sales, we learned that we had to accept that everyone needed a different technique when contacting and dealing with clients and that there is no single–best way to make a sale happen. We understood that each sales person naturally behaved differently than the others and that each was driven by different motivations.

We utilized specific assessment tools to understand how each of our sales people thought and we encouraged them to utilize their natural skills and talents to create their own brand of success.

We also learned to accept that everyone is not, and cannot be a superstar. We learned that as much as we had to set minimum goals that must be attained, we could not expect everyone to perform at the same level. Despite varying levels of skill and success everyone mattered. Most importantly, when one of our people was struggling, rather than finding fault or giving up on them, we offered coaching, encouragement and support to rejuvenate their enthusiasm and recharge their passion.

Lesson number three: Teamwork

Any group of people that is assembled for any purpose can only be successful if they operate as a team.

Just as this is true in athletics, it is true in the sales arena. Teams require leaders and leaders require loyal, devoted followers. A team must have a common vision that each member is able to buy into and each player must know his or her position.

We learned that as leaders, we had to reinforce the value of each member of the team from the reception people, to the accounting staff, to the administration department...because without them, the sales people would not survive. We reinforced the fact that without each member of the team paddling as fast as they could, the sales boat would not move forward. We asked them to treat each member of the team with respect all-the-while holding each other accountable for the team’s performance.

We taught them how harmful bad words and bad thoughts amongst team members could be and that intolerance would not be accepted. We let them know that every success was a team success to be shared by all members equally. We asked all team members to carry their weight as best they could and to help other team members when they stumbled. In short we helped them to understand that success was a team endeavour that required the unrelenting effort of each player.

Lesson number four: Lead by example

Leaders in great sales organizations work harder than every person on their team in order to maintain success.

There can be no room on any team for lazy, lacklustre, disengaged sales leaders or managers.Those who set the goals and enforce the activities that create the results must be fully involved and highly motivated. Their dedication to the process must be palpable and measurable. The time they put in to assist their sales force must be as great as, or preferably greater than the time each sales person and support-staff member puts in to make sales happen.

Great leaders work tirelessly and selflessly for the greater good of the team. Great leaders acknowledge that they are under the microscope and that everyone on their team is waiting for them to stumble. The best of them will be helped up by their team members when they fall...the worst will be left behind or kicked to the curb in disgust. They say that it is lonely at the top. As much as there is a smattering of truth to that statement, it can also be very rewarding and highly energizing up there. When you forget your own personal needs and wants, pushing those of your team members to the top, you will soon come to find that you have a second family that will support you and carry you on their shoulders to success.

The bottom line for leaders is that they must never give up, must always stay the course and must always work like their professional life depends on it...Because it does!

Lesson number five: Build your culture

Sales success can be sustainable or fleeting...it is your choice.

Success that is short-lived or sporadic is symptomatic of a weak sales-culture. If you have products or services to sell, you must always put sales activity at the top of your priority list. Let’s face it; you won’t need a receptionist, an accountant, or a human-resources professional if your products or services are not getting into the hands of buyers.

If you are unhappy with your current rate of sales stop what you are doing and regroup. Many leaders believe that if they just do more of what they are currently doing, great things will happen. That may or may not be true depending on the situation. However, if your sales machine is not printing money, there is a good chance it is broken or at the very least is need of a tune up.

The best way to find out why you are not as successful as you would like to be is to do an evaluation of your corporate culture to find out how your employees and your customers feel about it. Once you have communicated with a good sampling of them to find out where the weaknesses are, start building your culture from the ground up all over again.

During the rebuilding process, be honest with yourself and be willing to admit your failings. You must be willing to accept major changes if you want to succeed. Let everyone know that you want to build a powerful, sustainable culture where all of the stakeholders will share in the spoils and where everyone’s participation will be valued and acknowledged. Once the foundation is built, start bricking up the walls with solid, established business practices and employee engagement techniques. If you are not up to date on the practices of highly successful companies or simply do not know where to start, get help from outside professionals to guide you to a better path. Finally, you must be patient. Building a great corporate structure with fabulous sales results takes a lot of perseverance and a good deal of time.

Build your culture one brick at a time and watch your success grow right along with it.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

UNDERSTANDING DISC

This is the first in a series of newsletters in which we will explain the most common personality assessment on the market today. DISC is the foundation of understanding for virtually every human personality type.  The science of DISC is proven and trusted all over the world as the benchmark for all employee behavioural testing.

 D.I.S.C. stands for:

·         DOMINANCE

·         INFLUENCE

·         STEADINESS

·         COMPLIANCE *

(*note that some suppliers use the term CONSCIENTIOUSNESS in place of COMPLIANCE)

The elements of DISC are represented by a plethora of suppliers under a variety of aliases, including but not limited to colours, temperatures, seasons, bunnies and tigers and a variety of other pseudonyms. No matter what they are called, the elements of DISC are common to all personality types and vary in intensity from one person to another.

Here is a breakdown of what DOMINANCE, INFLUENCE, STEADINESS and COMPLIANCE mean in these surveys.

DOMINANCE: This is the element of an individual’s personality that indicates competitiveness, drive and a desire to win. Highly dominant people tend become angry more often than lower dominant types. Dominance is a task oriented trait so once a highly dominant person takes on a task, they become determined to see it through to the end. These people often appear to be stern and severe. Once they have had an angry outburst, they forget the source of their anger quickly and move on to other things. Highly dominant people will often be seen as intimidating by others.

INFLUENCE: This is the element of an individual’s personality that indicates optimism, trust, and a sense of humour. Highly influencing people tend to joke around a lot, talk a lot, and use other people to get what they want out of life. Almost completely people-oriented, they need to be in the company of other human beings as often as possible. Highly influencing people like flashy, expensive cars, clothing, houses and virtually anything else they can show off. They are optimistic to a fault and trust almost everyone a little too much.  Highly influencing people will often be seen as the life of the party by others.

STEADINESS: This is the element of an individual’s personality that regulates the pace at which they do things. Highly steady people tend to hold off on decision making until they believe the decision is the right one. They like to do research and get the approval of others before they do almost anything. They are people-oriented and will usually be very sociable with everyone they meet. Highly steady people will take longer to do their work, but because they are very thorough, the work they do is generally of very high quality. Others will often see them as logical, thoughtful members of the team.

COMPLIANCE: This is the element of an individual’s personality that creates a need for rules and regulations in their lives. Highly compliant people tend to approach every challenge or project with caution and concern. Because they are task oriented, they tend not to fall for a sales pitch that is not accompanied by facts and figures. They can be fearful of not following rules to the point that if no rules exist, some will make up their own rules and insist that others follow them. They are sometimes seen by others as careful, unbending, conscientious and occasionally resistant to “outside the box” thinking. They often gravitate toward jobs that include a lot of detail work.

BLENDING:

It is important to understand that every personality has all of these elements in it to varying degrees. As an example, someone might be highly dominant and low compliant, with a very low steady style and a moderate influencing style. Someone else might have a completely opposite blend of styles. It is rare to find any two DISC graphs that are exactly the same.

Understanding how the various elements of the DISC blend with each other is extremely important.  Hence, you should avoid referring to someone as HIGH DOMINANT or LOW COMPLIANT since all of the 4 elements will come into play in a variety of situations.

In future issues we will discuss DISC blending and the effects of intensity on overall behaviour.

This article is based on the work of William Moulton Marston. Find out more in my book, “Getting Along With People Is Easy!” available at Amazon.com or from the Dynamic Leadership website:


https://www.dlionline.ca/courses.php?category=Books

If you are interested in taking a survey or ordering one for someone else, please click on this link to order   https://www.dlionline.ca/courses.php

If you are interested in having a detailed formal seminar for your group, let us know. We offer 3 hour and 6 hour seminars, along with 2 and 3 day boot camps on a variety of leadership and management topics. Get in touch with us at www.dlionline.ca .

Valentine's Day Is For Lovers...Or Is It?

Saint Valentine's Day, commonly known as Valentine's Day, is an annual celebration held on February 14, celebrating love and affection between cherished lovers. The day is named after an early Christian leader and martyr named Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Galasius I in 496 AD. Now, it is traditionally a day on which devoted partners express their love for each other. However, in stark contrast, the original St. Valentine is remembered for having been executed for his Christian beliefs and his refusal to convert to Roman Paganism.

Valentine’s Day first became associated with romance during the days of the great poet, Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300’s. In 1382, Chaucer wrote in his poem Parlement of Foules or Parliament of Birds, "For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.” That poem actually had more to do with Mother Nature and the mating habits of birds than with human love. Despite that, it managed to find its way into western culture and to this day it provides an opportunity for women and men to express profound love for their mates.

Many human beings in this century need a special day to declare their love for each other.

Valentine’s Day functions as a reminder to everyone that explicit expressions of romantic love are important for the maintenance of healthy relationships. It doesn’t stop at pure, innocent love though. Candy stores, jewellery merchants, flower shops, restaurants and “Hallmark” cards all rake in huge amounts of much needed revenue on that special day. In fact many of them rely on Valentine’s Day sales for financial survival.

Lovers in the twenty first century cannot simply satisfy each other with kind words, cuddles, kisses and lovemaking as they might have in the 1300’s. Instead they feel a need to spend some money in order to prove their love and devotion to each other. It seems that our modern world has replaced natural, wholesome relationships where love is based on simple caring and sharing with relationships where love is measured by the amount of currency expended on it. That may sound somewhat cynical, but if given the choice between a kiss on the lips, a box of chocolates, or an exotic vacation as a Valentine’s gift, which would the average North American prefer? Which would they be more impressed by and which would they be more likely to remember in years to come? I think the answer is obvious.

It would be nice to think that when lovers sacrifice their cash for their mates, they are emulating St. Valentine who sacrificed his life for his religion.

Sadly that is probably not the case. We live in a world where the value of money has taken on such epic importance that it has become synonymous with, and inseparable from expressions of generosity, charity, kindness, and yes...love itself.

This Valentine’s Day why not break out of the mold?

Now that we know that St. Valentine died not for his lover, but for his religion, let’s do something more meaningful than buying candy, jewellery or trips.

Why not spend the night at home just cuddling and kissing and give the money you save to a worthy charity?  That way we can show our love for mankind, and uphold some of the principles that St. Valentine died for. After all, there are a lot of people in the world who need help and there are worse things than cuddling and kissing the one you love.

Valentine’s Day really is for lovers!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

10 Tips To Overcome Bad Thoughts

Do you ever find yourself thinking bad thoughts about someone else?

Do you ever think bad thoughts about yourself?

Here is an easier question: “Are You Human?” If your answer to this one is YES, then you can honestly answer YES to the first two questions. Bad thoughts are human but we should not let them control us.

Human beings, above all other animals on the planet possess the wonderful ability to reason. In most situations we tend to think before we act. Unlike less intelligent species, before we do almost anything, we imagine possible results and potential pitfalls. We think about how our actions and reactions might help us, harm us, propel us forward or hold us back. We thrive on information and we fill our heads with all kinds of thoughts and ideas about how we should live our lives. We are the superior species on earth because we think a lot, learn a lot, reason a lot and do a lot of incredible things after a good deal of intellectual assessment.

Sometimes because of external influences or internal fears, our thoughts become negative.

We might imagine that someone or something in our lives might harm us in some way or we might think that for some reason, we are not capable of doing something that we need to do in order to succeed. When our thoughts turn to black, our mood will change for the worse and our performance will begin to lag. During those down periods we will often say or do things that are not characteristic of our usual behavior. In the worst cases, we might even strike out at those around us or withdraw into solitude in order to avoid the source of our trepidations. We might turn away from people who matter to us and people who only want the best for us.

The worst thing about bad thoughts is that they put our lives on hold.

While we are under the control of bad thoughts, we stop trying, we stop doing and we fail to get on with living. We should never allow a bad thought to stop us from doing something that must be done or something that we really want to do. Despite the fact that we all want to avoid them, human beings allow bad thoughts to consume them and take charge of their lives every day! Bad thoughts, when allowed to rule are the enemies of optimism, the thieves of enthusiasm and the killers of motivation.

Often our bad thoughts will consume us for extended periods.

During those times, we will be depressed, impatient, uncommunicative, anxious or confrontational. Our human, negative energy will bubble to the surface and change our normal demeanour into something that is unpalatable to others. In essence our internal bad thoughts can ultimately become our external reality as we drive people away from us while becoming sad, lonely spectres of our normal selves.

Do not allow your bad thoughts to control you. Here are some tips to help you recognize and take control of your own negative energy. You can do all of them, some of them, or just one. The important thing is to do something.

When a bad thought enters your mind:

1. ASK YOURSELF, “WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?” (If the answer does not include death or physical harm, you will be much more likely to move past it.)

2. SETTLE DOWN. (Take a deep breath and think about some good things in your life. Tell yourself that you are a good person with a good life and that you can get beyond the current set-back.)

3. SAY IT OUT LOUD. (You can say it alone behind closed doors, or you can say it to a trusted confidant. Once you have verbalized your thoughts, they become much easier to deal with.)

4. TALK TO A FRIEND, A CLOSE RELATIVE, A TRUSTED CO-WORKER OR SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL LISTEN. (You need to hear an alternative point-of-view in order to put things into perspective.)

5. SEEK OUT A RESOLUTION. (You can work on the problem with another person or you can think of a variety of courses of action and positive resolutions on your own.)

6. WRITE IT DOWN. (Write down the bad thought and read it over. Then right down all of the possible outcomes of it...both positive and negative. When you see it in writing it will take on a different look.)

7. IF IT INVOLVES ANOTHER PERSON, GIVE THEM A BREAK. (Think about the fact that nothing good ever comes from negativity and that forgiveness is the antidote to hard feelings.)

8. CONFRONT IT HEAD-ON. (If you have a bad thought, it has to be given life before it can die a natural death. Face the situation and deal with it in an open, honest, courageous but sensitive way.)

9. FORGIVE YOURSELF. (Human beings tend to be hard on themselves. You need to be able to accept that you will make mistakes sometimes and that you are better than you think you are at that moment.)

10. DEAL WITH IT RIGHT AWAY! (Do not allow a bad thought to grow and fester in your mind. If left unfettered a bad thought can grow into a major tragedy or a life-changing trauma before you know it.

Overcoming bad thoughts must be a deliberate, conscious and extraordinarily positive act.

From now on, when a bad thought enters your mind remember that it must not be allowed to control you. Take time out of your busy day to think about it, eliminate it, and move on to more positive thoughts as quickly as you can.

All the Best!

Wayne Kehl

A New Year's Wish For Leaders

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbours, and let every New Year find you a better man or woman.”

~Benjamin Franklin

Oh, if we could all just follow Benjamin Franklin’s advice, what a wonderful world it would be. Why must we all find fault with each other while carrying anger and hatred into the world? Why do so many of us want to see others fail so that we can succeed and why do we defend our lies as if they are truths?

Why are human beings so flawed, and why is each one of us so tragically human?

During the Christmas season the world is full of love and goodwill toward all mankind. Almost immediately after that, the New Year comes along and millions of folks make resolutions that most will never comply with. For those two days of the year we practice universal love and make conscious decisions to be better men and women.

For the rest of the year, most of us simply go back to being the people we are and have always been with the inevitable consequences…wars rage on, crime rates escalate, court room waiting lists get longer, people die in alcohol related accidents, ordinary people die from substance abuse, others die from lung cancer, strokes, heart disease and violence; obesity levels grow and we all continue our race to self-induced oblivion.

It seems that most of us cannot sustain a conscious effort to be better men and women for more than a couple of days each year.

This year, why not become a leader to everyone in your life?

Why not set the example by overcoming your vices, putting aside your anger, adopting an attitude of pure positive thoughts and actions and by making a concerted effort to be a better person?

Can you do it? Can you be the one person who will make a difference? You probably cannot change the world single-handedly, but you can make a difference in your environment and you can make improvements in your own life that others will notice.

Forget about societal, cultural, employment related, success driven, peer pressure-induced urges and just do what you know is right. Resist the vices that you know are not helping you succeed, always put on a smile for everyone you meet, reach for positive thoughts in every situation and always do your best. Most importantly, make a deliberate effort to be a better person. If you do that, you will never suffer from guilt of any kind and you will be a model for everyone you meet. In some way, large or small, you will be a leader of mankind.

Benjamin Franklin lived from 1706 to 1790 and yet he observed the same human behaviour that we all live with in 2012. Take a page out of his book and be someone who leads others to a better world.

It is never too late to set a great example for others. Your goodness will always be noticed and appreciated.

All the Best!



Wayne Kehl

We Should Honour Christmas All Year Long

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

~ Charles Dickens (1812-1870), English author. From, “A Christmas Carol”

I was quite taken by this quote from Charles Dickens. This line from “A Christmas Carol” reminds us of the fact that for most people, the true spirit of kindness and giving is with us for only one day of each year. As much as we might like to honour the spirit of Christmas throughout the year, it is not long after December 25th that we return to our old habits and vices…we return to being normal, flawed human beings.

People of many lands have chosen Christmas as a reason to be kind, generous, and warm to all others.

Large scale wars all over the world will have cease-fires during the Christmas holiday. People who seldom speak take the time to write and send greeting cards to each other. Everywhere you go people of all races, creeds, colours and genders can be heard shouting, “Merry Christmas!” to almost anyone they come into contact with. Despite the commercial implications of it, Christmas genuinely brings peace on earth and goodwill to all men and women. Smiles abound and anger is put on hold for two or three glorious days. Everyone seems to want to impose the best part of mankind on everyone else during the few days surrounding December 25th.

How sad it is that we cannot carry those good feelings, thoughts, emotions and actions with us 365 days of every year.

If we could just remember the deep seated emotions that flood our hearts, souls, and minds on Christmas morning; if we could only treat everyone the way we treated our friends and family during Christmas dinner; if we could just feel that way and treat everyone with that much kindness all year long, the world would be a glorious place indeed.

Like Ebenezer Scrooge, try to honour the Christmas spirit all year long. You will be rewarded with the gift of joy and the precious present of a peaceful mind.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Wayne Kehl

Can A Woman Be A Great Leader Of Men? VIDEO

Watch this video to find out if a woman can be a great leader of men:

Hi Folks. I’m Wayne Kehl and today I am going to ask you something that you might just find a little bit shocking. Here is my question: “can a woman be a great leader of men?”......Oh...I can hear the gasps right through the screen of my computer. However, I think it is a valid question because from my experiences, the battle of the sexes is not over yet. We still have not achieved full equality for women in business. What you are about to see is a discussion of women in leadership roles

If we are going to have an intelligent discussion about women in leadership position, I believe we must accept that women and men do not, and in most cases probably should not, lead in the same fashion. Women think differently than men and their natural tendencies are driven by different motives than men. In short, women and men are different...and thank God for that!

The differences between men and women are physiological, hormonal and historical. Those are things we cannot do anything about. However, as much as we cannot turn the clock back and rewrite history, I believe it is possible for us to change the future.

My belief is that women who want to be great leaders should not devalue their femininity by emulating the leadership traits of men. They should, celebrate their femaleness by bringing all of the amazing female qualities they have at their disposal to their leadership positions. They should think like women, act like women and look like women at all times. Women who change their inherent style to become more like men when they move into leadership positions are fooling know one. We all know they are women and we become uncomfortable when they appear to be moving away from their female nature and character.

Women make up fifty percent of the population. Because of the plethora of ladies around us, men have a pretty good understanding of what makes them tick. Most men have an undying love and respect for their mothers and would do almost anything to support and protect them. They will step in front of a hurtling freight train to save their wives from harm and they would fight a grizzly bear with a small stick to defend their daughters. Men are hard wired to treat women well and do everything they can to make their lives better.

Despite the natural tendency of men to protect women from harm, bullying and sexual harassment are not uncommon in the workplace. When the testosterone-driven positions of power that men hold dear are threatened by the scent of female hormones, they tend to drop their naturally protective instincts and go into fight mode. If a woman in a superior position takes on an aggressive, demanding stance, many men will see her as the enemy and will do any number of unspeakable things to engineer her demise. Even some WOMEN will see a dominant, masculine leadership style from another woman as a foreign and unpalatable.

At this point, you might think I am already in too deep and should quit while I am ahead. Well I not quite done yet and in order to illustrate my point, I want to tell you a story about a great female leader I have actually worked with....I will call her, Debbie for the purposes of this story. Please keep watching.

Debbie was known to be intelligent, knowledgeable and conscientious. For decades she performed well in important project management and product development positions. She was a great resource for a large number of employees, managers, and executive leaders. She was highly regarded, well liked, and highly valued for her work. The day she was promoted to vice president of sales however, marked a change in the way almost everyone in the company viewed her and in the general expectations everyone had of her.

It is important to note that the position Debbie was promoted to, had only been occupied by men in the past. She was given the responsibility not only for the overall sales of her division, but for the day-to-day sales activities of a large number of mature, aggressive, crusty male sales people. Not only were these fellows set in their ways, but they had never been led by a woman before and they had no idea what to expect.

Debbie had a big choice to make. She could continue to be the intelligent, kind, nurturing female she had always been, or she could morph into a hard, demanding, command and control leader. If she had betrayed her natural tendencies to care for and nurture her direct reports, she might have failed. However, she had enough faith in herself to avoid becoming something she was not. Instead, she led her division with kindness, caring, and a nurturing spirit. She held her direct reports accountable, but instead of making demands and finding fault, she offered support and encouragement.

When things went badly, Debbie proactively offered her help and rather than criticizing, lecturing, or disciplining, she coached, counselled and assisted. When things went well, she provided acknowledgement, praise and celebration. At all times, she exuded pride in her team and she fought for them like a mother bear. Her devotion to her work-family was obvious to all and it was rewarded with true loyalty and almost universal respect.

In fairness, it is safe to say that Debbie had to work harder and put in more effort than any man in the position before her in order to win over the men who reported to her. However, within a year she had gained their respect and admiration. Once she had made her mark as a serious leader, it was not uncommon to hear her male reports singing her praises and making it clear that she was the best sales manager they had ever worked with. They knew she cared about them and that she was there for them no matter what happened. She also became an icon for female employees, who admired her and considered her a role model for all other women in business.

She thought like a woman, she acted like a woman, she looked like a woman...and she succeeded like a man!

Can a woman be a great leader of men? Yes she can especially if she always remembers that its okay to be a woman! Thanks ladies for everything you do.

All the Best

I’m Wayne Kehl

Order Wayne's book "A Man On Women" here

(click the link)

Can A Woman Be A Great Leader Of Men?

If we are going to have an intelligent discussion about women in leadership positions firstly we must accept that women and men do not, and should not lead in the same fashion. Women think differently than men and their natural tendencies are driven by different motives than men. In short, women and men are different!

Women who want to be great leaders should not devalue their femininity by emulating the leadership traits of men. They should instead, celebrate their femaleness by bringing all of the amazing female qualities that they have at their disposal to their leadership positions. They should think like women, act like women and look like women at all times. Women who change their inherent style to become more like men when they move into leadership positions are fooling no one. We all know they are women and we become uncomfortable when they appear to be moving away from their natural female roles.

Women make up fifty percent of the population. Because of the plethora of ladies around us, men understand what makes the fairer sex tick. Most men have undying love and respect for their mothers and would do almost anything to support and protect them. They will step in front of a hurtling freight train to save their wives from harm and would fight a grizzly bear with a small stick to defend their daughters. Men are hard-wired to treat women well and to do everything they can to make their lives better.

Despite the natural tendency of men to protect women from harm, bullying and sexual harassment are not uncommon in the workplace.

When the testosterone-driven positions of power that men hold dear are threatened by the scent of female hormones, they tend to drop their naturally protective instincts and go into fight-mode. If a woman in a superior position takes on an aggressive, demanding stance, many men will see her as the enemy and will do any number of unspeakable things to engineer her demise. Even women will see a dominant, masculine leadership style from another woman as foreign and unpalatable.

The best way for me to illustrate a good female leadership style is to provide an example of a great female leader that I have actually worked with...I will call her Debbie for the purposes of this story.

Debbie was known to be intelligent, knowledgeable and conscientious. For decades she performed well in important project management and product development positions. She was a great resource for a large number of employees, managers, and executive leaders. She was well regarded, well liked and highly valued for her work. The day she was promoted to Vice President of Sales however, marked a change in the way almost everyone in the company viewed her and in the general expectations everyone had of her. It is very important to note that this was a position that had only been occupied by men in the past. Debbie was given responsibility not only for the overall sales of her division, but for the day-to-day sales activities of a large number of aggressive, mature, crusty salesmen who were set in their ways. They had never been lead by a woman and they had no idea what to expect.

Debbie had a big choice to make.

She could continue to be the intelligent, kind, nurturing female she had always been or she could morph into a hard, demanding, command and control leader. If she had betrayed her natural tendencies to care for and nurture her direct reports, she might have failed. However, she had enough faith in herself to avoid becoming something she was not and instead led her division with kindness, caring and a nurturing spirit. She held her direct report accountable but instead of making demands and finding fault, she offered support and encouragement. When things went badly, she proactively offered her help and rather than criticizing, lecturing or disciplining, she coached, counselled and assisted. When things went well, she provided acknowledgement, praise and celebration. At all times, she exuded pride in her team and she fought for them like a mother bear. Her devotion to her work-family was obvious to all and it was rewarded with true loyalty and almost universal respect.

In fairness, it is safe to say that Debbie had to work harder and put in more effort than any man in the position before her in order to win over the men who reported to her.

However, within a year she had gained their respect and admiration. Once she had made her mark as a serious leader, it was not uncommon to hear her male reports singing her praises and making it clear that she was the best sales manager they had ever worked with. They knew that she cared about them and that she was there for them no matter what happened. She also became an icon for female employees who admired her and considered her a role model for all other women in business.

She thought like a woman; she acted like a woman; she looked like a woman...and she succeeded like a man!

Can a woman be a great leader of men? Yes she can but only if she remembers to always be a woman!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Order Wayne's book, "A Man On Women" here...

(Click the link)

Ten Ways To Make Your Employees Adore You (video)

Please do not confuse adoration with lovability or even likeability. Effective leaders have a mystique about them that sets them apart from other mortals. They have an ability to garner respect, admiration, reverence, and generally high regard wherever they go. Those are the elements of adoration that we will be dealing with in this video.

No two leaders are the same. They all have their own distinct style. Some exude kindness and warmth while others reek of authority and influence. Some lead by example while others lead through delegation. Some do things on impulse and immediate action while others are methodical and unhurried. These are products of individual personalities and no one style is better than another. They can all create success when fused with the essential elements of leadership.

No matter what style you might have, you can earn the adoration of your employees.

HERE ARE THE TEN ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF LEADERSHIP ADORATION:

1. In order to be adored as a leader you must listen to the people who work with you. Listening is an indication of respect. It shows that you are interested in them and that what they have to say matters. Most importantly, it shows that they have so much value that you will give up your most precious leadership commodity for them...your time.

2. If you want adoration, talk to your people. Tell them what you are thinking. Tell them about yourself. Let them know that you are human and that you have the same fears, feelings, problems and concerns that they do. If you make yourself human to them they will be compelled to support and protect you when the need arises.

3. You must control your emotions if you expect true adoration from your followers. Angry, depressed, impatient, sad, giddy, or moody people cannot gain respect and will not be taken seriously by anyone. A calm, even demeanour with moments of obvious excitement (at appropriate times) will show followers that you are in control of yourself and therefore more likely to be someone of good character and a strong mind.

4. Adorable people have a sense of humour. A dour, humourless demeanour might seem appropriate in some situations, but a regular diet of it in a leadership position is a morale killer. When people say things to you that they think are funny...laugh! It is not a hard thing to do. Only laugh at appropriate things and when offering your own humour, make sure you do not cross the line of inappropriateness. Work should not be punishment and it follows that a joyful workplace is a productive workplace. If you are not exhibiting humour from time to time, you have not realized your full leadership potential.

5. Make yourself available and adoration will follow. If you are truly leading, you are visible, available and transparent. Stop making excuses for not spending time with your followers. Get up from your desk and talk to them. When they want to speak with you in private, stop what you are doing (if possible) and talk to them. When they have a problem, listen to them with an open mind and do everything in your power to help them through it. Be their omnipresent symbol of strength.

6. Trust your employees and they will adore you. The greatest display of respect you can show an employee is to trust him or her to do the job properly, on time and on budget. Once the training phase is over and you know they are competent, leave them alone and do not meddle. Ask for progress reports and occasional performance evaluations but during the course of the workday, leave them alone and only attempt to help when they ask. The only interference you should present is a pat on the back for a job well done or a celebration for a special success. Your trust in them will be returned with respect and admiration for you.

7. Communicate with your people and they will adore you. One of the most common complaints from employees is that they have little or no communication with management. What they want is more than idle chat. They want to know what is going on, what the vision of the company is, what your personal vision is, the financial strength and growth of the company, and where the company is going. They want to be an integral part of the organization and the more you tell them about where the company is taking them, the more they will admire you.

8. To be adored you must always be cognizant of how you present yourself. Unlike some other human beings, leaders must always dress appropriately, clean and groom themselves appropriately, speak clearly and concisely and act in a politically correct fashion. Sloppy, slovenly, smelly people seldom make good leaders. People who mumble, speak too softly, tell dirty jokes or use a lot of foul language have difficulty gaining respect from followers or superiors. If you are having trouble finding adoration at work, give yourself an honest personal evaluation and make the necessary changes.

9. If you fight for your employees you can become the most adored leader of all. Followers want their leaders to be bold, courageous, loyal warriors who will support them, protect them and speak highly of them at all times. Leaders who put their own success and safety second to that of their employees will be held in high regard. Leaders who get involved when employees get into conflicts or bravely put themselves into the middle of customer confrontations are the most revered of all. If you make it clear to your people that you will be the last person into the life raft if the ship starts to go down you will be adored beyond your wildest imagination.

10. Honesty is an adorable trait. Dishonesty is not! Big lies, small lies, promises not kept, and promises conveniently forgotten are all reasons for leadership catastrophe. No one wants to be lied to. If you always do unto others as you would have them do unto you and never tell an untruth you are on the path to adoration and leadership success.

Leadership is not easy, but by practising these few simple tenets you can enhance your leadership style and move to a higher level of success.

All the Best

Wayne Kehl