Valentine's Day Is For Lovers...Or Is It?

Saint Valentine's Day, commonly known as Valentine's Day, is an annual celebration held on February 14, celebrating love and affection between cherished lovers. The day is named after an early Christian leader and martyr named Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Galasius I in 496 AD. Now, it is traditionally a day on which devoted partners express their love for each other. However, in stark contrast, the original St. Valentine is remembered for having been executed for his Christian beliefs and his refusal to convert to Roman Paganism.

Valentine’s Day first became associated with romance during the days of the great poet, Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300’s. In 1382, Chaucer wrote in his poem Parlement of Foules or Parliament of Birds, "For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.” That poem actually had more to do with Mother Nature and the mating habits of birds than with human love. Despite that, it managed to find its way into western culture and to this day it provides an opportunity for women and men to express profound love for their mates.

Many human beings in this century need a special day to declare their love for each other.

Valentine’s Day functions as a reminder to everyone that explicit expressions of romantic love are important for the maintenance of healthy relationships. It doesn’t stop at pure, innocent love though. Candy stores, jewellery merchants, flower shops, restaurants and “Hallmark” cards all rake in huge amounts of much needed revenue on that special day. In fact many of them rely on Valentine’s Day sales for financial survival.

Lovers in the twenty first century cannot simply satisfy each other with kind words, cuddles, kisses and lovemaking as they might have in the 1300’s. Instead they feel a need to spend some money in order to prove their love and devotion to each other. It seems that our modern world has replaced natural, wholesome relationships where love is based on simple caring and sharing with relationships where love is measured by the amount of currency expended on it. That may sound somewhat cynical, but if given the choice between a kiss on the lips, a box of chocolates, or an exotic vacation as a Valentine’s gift, which would the average North American prefer? Which would they be more impressed by and which would they be more likely to remember in years to come? I think the answer is obvious.

It would be nice to think that when lovers sacrifice their cash for their mates, they are emulating St. Valentine who sacrificed his life for his religion.

Sadly that is probably not the case. We live in a world where the value of money has taken on such epic importance that it has become synonymous with, and inseparable from expressions of generosity, charity, kindness, and yes...love itself.

This Valentine’s Day why not break out of the mold?

Now that we know that St. Valentine died not for his lover, but for his religion, let’s do something more meaningful than buying candy, jewellery or trips.

Why not spend the night at home just cuddling and kissing and give the money you save to a worthy charity?  That way we can show our love for mankind, and uphold some of the principles that St. Valentine died for. After all, there are a lot of people in the world who need help and there are worse things than cuddling and kissing the one you love.

Valentine’s Day really is for lovers!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

We Should Honour Christmas All Year Long

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

~ Charles Dickens (1812-1870), English author. From, “A Christmas Carol”

I was quite taken by this quote from Charles Dickens. This line from “A Christmas Carol” reminds us of the fact that for most people, the true spirit of kindness and giving is with us for only one day of each year. As much as we might like to honour the spirit of Christmas throughout the year, it is not long after December 25th that we return to our old habits and vices…we return to being normal, flawed human beings.

People of many lands have chosen Christmas as a reason to be kind, generous, and warm to all others.

Large scale wars all over the world will have cease-fires during the Christmas holiday. People who seldom speak take the time to write and send greeting cards to each other. Everywhere you go people of all races, creeds, colours and genders can be heard shouting, “Merry Christmas!” to almost anyone they come into contact with. Despite the commercial implications of it, Christmas genuinely brings peace on earth and goodwill to all men and women. Smiles abound and anger is put on hold for two or three glorious days. Everyone seems to want to impose the best part of mankind on everyone else during the few days surrounding December 25th.

How sad it is that we cannot carry those good feelings, thoughts, emotions and actions with us 365 days of every year.

If we could just remember the deep seated emotions that flood our hearts, souls, and minds on Christmas morning; if we could only treat everyone the way we treated our friends and family during Christmas dinner; if we could just feel that way and treat everyone with that much kindness all year long, the world would be a glorious place indeed.

Like Ebenezer Scrooge, try to honour the Christmas spirit all year long. You will be rewarded with the gift of joy and the precious present of a peaceful mind.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Wayne Kehl

Are You Willing to Risk Your Life?

On Remembrance Day and Veteran’s Day it is important for us all to reflect on the sacrifice and devotion to duty shown by so many of our brave men and women all over the world. But, what does the observation of past and present wars mean to you?

November 11th is not about poppies, wreaths or cenotaphs. Those are only symbols to remind us of our brave military men and women. What November 11 is really about is courage and raw, unshakeable allegiance to a country. Veterans of all wars offered something that most of us have never and will never have to consider as an option. They offered their lives. They offered their countries the right to use them as corporeal weapons of war. When they made that offer to their Governments, they knew full well that they might never return from whatever theatre of war they would ultimately enter. They knew the enemy forces they would encounter would show them no mercy and that they too might have to make the definitive, irrevocable decision to end another person’s life.

Because it is neither natural or normal for human beings to deliberately end the lives of other human beings, our Veterans made another sacrifice. They put their integrity, their morals, and their spirituality on the line along with their bodies. They chose to overlook their natural predisposition to saving the lives of others in favour of protecting their fellow countryman from enemy forces. As much as killing did not come easily to them, they did it for the love of their homeland and the people back home they so desperately wanted to protect. Most importantly, they did these incredible things while asking nothing in return.

Members of all branches of the military were (and still are) asked to fight in unbelievably unpleasant and dangerous conditions, thousands of miles from their homes and families. They ate bad food and were paid very little for doing the most dangerous and important jobs on earth. And yet they fought selflessly until the war was over. Each time a war began, our Veterans finished it. Some came home...some did not. Some came back unharmed...others came back broken, torn, shell-shocked, and emotionally distressed. All had offered up the ultimate price...their personal right to life.

“Lest We Forget” has two meanings for me:

Firstly, we the non-Veterans of the world must never forget the sacrifices our Veterans made for us.

Secondly, we must all accept that our veterans will never forget what they were forced to do in service of their country. Veterans never forget the places they fought, the weapons they fired, or the enemy soldiers they killed and wounded. How could they? No human being could possibly forget the horrors of combat.

Our Veterans gave all they had physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

Wars are started by politicians but they are fought by fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends and family members. We must always remember that our fighting men and women must be honoured for their service and that honour must never be tarnished by politics or protest. Veterans are heroes who do their duty at their own behest and for the most excellent of reasons. They are the best part of war and the best part of our humanity.

That is my dad, Dave Kehl with his head sticking out of the hatch as he drives his Sherman tank in Normandy France 1944.

 

My dad fought in World War II and still carries a piece of German Shrapnel in his back to this very day. He is 88 years old now and he has never forgotten his service to his country. In fact he speaks of the war years with more clarity than perhaps anything else in his life. Unlike my father, I have never had to offer my life for virtually anything. Because my dad and millions of other Veterans fought for my freedom I have lived a very comfortable and secure life. At age 59, I find myself wondering what I would do if I was in their position and what my life would have been like if I was forced to experience what my dad experienced.

I offer my heartfelt gratitude to my dad and to every other man and woman who ever risked his or her life for their country. They represent the best of us!

Are you willing to risk your life?

LEST WE FORGET

Wayne Kehl

Getting Along With People Is EASY!

Have a look at this video about Getting Along With People Is EASY! and then order the book...

 

Have you ever had trouble getting along with someone? Don’t Despair...Everyone has!

Getting along with people is easy is the book you have been waiting for.  In it, you will find the reasons that people have trouble getting along with each other and great ways to avoid bad relationships.

As a bonus, you will find ways to fix almost every relationship issue you might ever encounter.

Learn how to get along with rude people, sarcastic people, moody people, conceited people, prejudiced people, husbands, wives, co-workers and even, bosses.

On these pages you will find wit, wisdom and common sense for everyone who associates with other human beings.

Allow every person you meet to become a positive force in your life and you will find that getting along with people is easy.

This book is a great read. Learn how to get along with people and have fun doing it.

Order Getting Along with people is easy directly from me at www.dlionline.ca, or from www.amazon.com,  www.barnesandnoble.com, and most other online book sellers.

I am Wayne Kehl

Thank You!

It Takes A Hurricane

While watching the drama of Hurricane Irene unfold as she made her way up the east coast of North America, I was impressed by the good humour, co-operation, camaraderie, and overall humanity of the folks who reside in the path of the storm front. The media did a great job of televising scenes of people working together, boarding up buildings and doing whatever they could to make certain that everyone in their respective communities was safe.

Tragedy and impending danger tend to bring people together in a universal environment of compassion, charity and civility that is often absent when things are good.

When widespread, collective problems or fears abate, most of us return to our usual human pattern of competition, aggression, avoidance, and intolerance of others.During a hurricane, a war, a flood or an earthquake the love of mankind and our need to aid and nurture each and every person threatened by a common disaster becomes a singular, communal driving force.

Why can people not consistently maintain and exhibit the natural tribal loyalty and altruism that is innate in all of us?

Human beings are essentially pack animals, which helps to explain why we live in cities and work in huge buildings together. Pack animals know that survival depends on the power that is created when of a number of members of the species live, hunt, share and work together in harmony. Of course our pack-communities are what we know as countries, cities, neighbourhoods and companies, but they represent essentially the same patterns and hierarchies that we can observe in nature.

The wolf-pack is perhaps the most popular non-human example of an effective tribal cooperative.

In the wolf community a leader is selected when he shows superiority over any weaker males who dare to take him on in an all-out fight. In the human community we occasionally have dog-fights to select our leaders, but most often we have a democratic election process where a superior leader is chosen from a slate of qualified candidates.

Whether wolf-pack or human-pack, the hierarchical process is the same: The leader makes decisions for the pack and the followers carry out the work required to maintain the security and integrity of the commune. In both cases, leaders who under-perform can be removed and replaced at almost any time. In case of wolves and humans, replacing a leader usually requires another fight for superiority.

The major difference between wolves and humans is that wolves have almost complete respect and admiration for their leaders while humans often disregard them or resent them to the core.

Getting back to Hurricane Irene; it seems that human beings quite naturally and unavoidably fall back on their primordial instincts when danger threatens the pack. At that point, gone is ego and selfishness; gone is arrogance and superiority; gone is competition and intolerance. In the face of peril, the negative elements of human interaction are quickly replaced by the positive elements of the pack-animal system. Cooperation, collaboration, nurturing and protective instincts flood the minds of the victims, leading them to unusual and amazing acts of courage and kindness.When danger threatens, people become almost universally good again. They become akin to the wolves that will fight to the death as a group to protect all members of the pack.

When people work together during an impending or actual disaster to protect, save, nurture, and help one another it is a truly wonderful thing to see.

When human beings are not threatened and the usual human vices of egotism, greed, guile, selfishness and rudeness return to the fore, our species takes on an unpleasant air that most of the members of our pack find intolerable. We often hate what we see in the human race, but as the Bible says in John 8:7, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Ask yourself if you have been guilty of being human lately.

If you answer, “NO”, I think you might need to take stock of the human vices that we have all learned to recognize and acknowledge as unacceptable behaviour in the new millennium.

Most of us make excuses for our vices and sins. We are constantly casting stones at others because they did something to us first.

We believe that a first strike at our integrity, dignity or ego is a perfect reason for us to retaliate in kind, or with even greater force.

All over the world today, fingers are being raised to errant motorists and foul language is being used to upset timid sales clerks. Husbands are yelling at wives and wives are hollering at daughters and sons. Every day, neighbours silently hate neighbours and employees and bosses hate each other collectively. Conversely, in the wolf-packs of the world, there might be a fight for superiority going on somewhere but more often than not if you find a pack of wolves you will find them living, hunting and sharing together in harmony. They know instinctively that they must work together to assure the survival of their community.

Why can’t people be more like wolves?

Let’s not wait for the next disaster before we begin caring for the other human beings on earth again. Let’s start now!

All the Best!
Wayne Kehl

Are You Living An Authentic Life?

There is nothing sadder than the death of someone who has never lived!

Here is a quote from the late rocker, Jimi Hendrix: “I’m the one who’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”

This quote speaks to me of the human need to go along or succumb to the pressures of the groups we find ourselves being members of. In life, we tend to do what our leaders tell us to do whether or not we agree and whether or not they may be contrary to our own desires. We wear fashionable clothing that we don’t like, we work at jobs we do not enjoy, we are polite when we would rather be outspoken, and we often do whatever we are told without thought.

As Jimi said, we must accept that our leaders, mentors and critics will not be there to tell us how to live our deaths even though they constantly told us how to live our lives.

I admire people who are authentic and true to themselves; the people who do what THEY want to do despite criticism from others. As long as their actions and thoughts are positive they harm no one.

For me, success is the happiness and satisfaction that comes from doing the things that we truly want to do. After all, there is nothing sadder than the death of a person who has never lived!

I am Wayne Kehl from Dynamic Leadership

Ego and Success

Winners, losers and survivors exist all around us. The world is full of people who become famous through excellent results alongside those who gain notoriety because of poor performance. Interestingly, mediocrity is much more common than success or failure in most areas of human endeavour. Most people get by, but seldom excel despite the fact that almost everyone is good at something. The majority of people on the planet never have the opportunity to soar because they never have the opportunity to utilize the natural talents they are born with.

Many of us never even experience the joy of discovering the true

genius that lies dormant, deep within us all.

While many of us labour unrewardingly outside of our true calling, others are able to advance in areas where they have little or no natural talent at all. The most ineffective or even dangerous people on earth are those who have a strong belief that they excel at something where they have no particular talent and yet have managed to advance. We often see these people in senior positions. Sometimes they are arrogant, egotistical bullies who strut around the office or the factory floor barking out orders and bragging about their adventures. Some are quiet and reserved, but bristle with superiority at or just below the surface.  No matter how they present themselves, they usually make poor business decisions and specialize in poor hiring choices.  These are the people who talk down to others and are critical just for the sake of being right.

Often because a business is unique, has a strong customer following or a history of success, these people manage to advance and move up the ladder despite themselves and despite the harm they do to those they are able to impact along the way. Some are highly educated while others are only experts in bravado. They know how to manipulate the decision makers above them and they fly under the radar on their way to the top. Eventually, they will reach the level of their own incompetence...the place where they can no longer fool even the most detached executives...but at that point, the damage will have already been done and they will probably be rewarded for their poor performance with a gold watch and a healthy retirement package.

We have all known people like this!

As I ruminate on this phenomenon it occurs to me that the one talent these people have is the talent for exercising their own ego. While most of us conceal our ego and exercise our humility as our parents taught us, the egomaniacs of the world take on almost anything that comes their way with a resolute belief that they will succeed. Their success is based on an unyielding belief in themselves. They have such a well defined sense of self direction that they are incapable of acknowledging any suggestion that they might be on an incorrect path. They believe they are winners and they dismiss any thoughts of failure. A German propaganda minister in Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Government, Joseph Goebbels said this:

 “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.”

Unfortunately, I have observed in business that many people have adopted the philosophy of Goebbels, perhaps without even knowing it. They lie to the people around them and they lie to themselves. For them, lying is not even wrong or immoral...it is instead, a matter of business survival. They tell themselves they are great and then make sure everyone in their sphere of influence knows it. Through deception, they manage to succeed. Ultimately the deception becomes truth as the intimidation of their bravado and growing success moves them closer to the top of the hierarchy. Ultimately, they leave behind a legacy of negativity despite any financial success their organizations might attain.

Despite the success that ego can bring, the true leaders in society

 are those who are honest, ethical, humble people with genuine

talent.

My preference is to follow leaders who lead with talent, empathy, skill, and humility. I will follow someone who has something valuable to say rather than someone who simply wants to say something. I will follow a leader who puts the needs of his team and his company first and second, with his own coming in a distant third. I will follow a leader whose ego is limited to ambition for, and belief in her team. I want to follow a leader who is primarily proud of her team and the fact that she is fortunate enough to lead them. I will follow a leader who always tells the truth.  I will follow a leader!

Leading is difficult but when done right, it creates a wonderful

 legacy. Here is a short list of things all great leaders take with

 them to the top:

·         Utilization of natural talents

·         Ego directed only at team results

·         Self-awareness and the courage to change

·         Humility

·         Honesty

With just those few elements a leader can put himself or herself on a level above the pack. Those leaders can create high-performing teams and leave a legacy of greatness that will live on long after they have departed.

Ego will invariably be an element of success, but it should not be

 the only factor!

All the Best

Wayne Kehl

Are You Truly Kind?

Find out how kind you are here:

http://www.ilstv.com/are-you-truly-kind/

Have fun and live longer!

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

George Bernard Shaw

Famed Irish playwright and essayist, George Bernard Shaw lived from 1856 to 1950. He generated many quotes during his long life, but the one above is my favourite. I am drawn to the quote because like most people, I don’t want to grow any older than I already am, and now that I am in my fifties, I have finally realized that when I take myself too seriously, I do not enjoy my life. On the other hand, when I am playing, I am generally happy…and when I am happy I feel healthy and amazingly, younger!


There is no law that says that adults must be serious all the time! There is no rule in civilized society that says grownups cannot be silly from time to time! There certainly is no regulation that prevents laughing anywhere, except maybe in a library, a confessional, or during a funeral. Come to think of it, modern funerals are often called celebrations of life where enjoyment and laughing are actually allowed!


Personally, I believe that celebrations of life should not be reserved for the dead. I think we should celebrate the wonder of our lives on this incredible planet every day we spend above ground. The next time you go into a business meeting, a union meeting, a parent-teacher meeting, or a meeting with a tax assessor, try smiling, laughing, or telling a joke. You will be amazed at how a lighter attitude will lift the weight of the drudgery you would usually experience during any serious event. If you let the people around you know that you are in a playful mood, they will want to join in and have some fun with you. Soon, the meeting will turn from drudgery to pleasure and it will be over before you know it. In fact if you have fun during a business meeting, a strange phenomenon often occurs…you don’t want it to end! Imagine that!


Try it at home too! Before you sit down to have a serious conversation with your wife, husband or children, think of a way to lighten up the mood. Those closest to you will appreciate your light-hearted ways more than anyone else. People who bring a smile or a laugh to others are usually considered lovable, and most folks want to be loved by their family members so take a chance and have some fun with them! The next time you need to have a discussion about the family budget, the dent in the new car, or the dreaded subject of teenage sex, do it with a smile and a laugh. You cannot make difficult situations disappear by being serious, so why not have some fun and at least try to make them less serious and therefore more acceptable.


Of course, there are times when a serious attitude is more acceptable than a light-hearted one, but try to keep them to a minimum. Remember what George Bernard Shaw said, “We grow old because we stop playing.” There is much documented medical evidence to support the concept that fun and laughter are beneficial to a healthy, long life...but just the joy and sense of well-being that you will experience is evidence enough.


Be a leader, take a chance and show others your fun side! Play every chance you get no matter how old you are. Your life will be better for it and you will find that you have more friends and even, more fans. The bonus is that you will live longer and you will thoroughly enjoy every one of those extra days!


Start playing today!

All the Best


Wayne Kehl